April 09, 2014 / 2 Ways to Salvage A Failed Approach
If you flubbed the approach. you can still recover. Here are the 2 main principles.
Ever go up to a girl and totally flub your opener? You had a great line ready and when you got there you just muttered some incoherent gibberish, or maybe you didn’t even get a word out at all but it was clear to her and everyone you were trying to approach her. And even worse, instead of salvaging the approach right then and there with confident self-deprecating humor as I discuss in The Art Of Sway, you walked away with your tail between your legs. These situations can be devastating to your chances; however, you still have a chance to salvage these failed approaches.
The situation is bad
Look, before I get into the solutions, I don’t want to sugar coat it. Flubbing the opener is bad. Really bad. It shows lack of confidence and weakness both of which are significant turn offs. For this reason, the solutions here are not guaranteed fixes. Far from it, there’s a good chance you will still fail even if you play it right but these suggestions will increase your chances well beyond 0.
1. Laugh about it on approach 2
Confident self deprecating humor can still work even if you gave up on the first failure. Give yourself some time in between re-approaching and when you do, use your flub as the opener. Try something like: "Well that was embarrassing..but I’m not going to give up that easy!" or if you mumbled a bunch of junk and then ran away try: "Wow, I’m pretty sure I just set a record for the longest time talking without completing a single sentence. I’d start over, but I really just wanted to find an excuse to talk to you." Another approach I like to use is to go up to her again, burst out laughing and say: "Well that was embarrassing…" and go from there.
Another powerful technique is to simply ignore the fact you flubbed and try again later. Obviously, use a different opener. Ignoring a mistake isn’t the best strategy in the work environment, but it works very well with dating. You don’t want to show insecurity, and worrying about a mess up often comes up as insecure. You screwed up, it is what it is, now just go try again. You will be surprised how often women will forgive one off issues and how many times they will just assume an issue was just a one off.
Don’t screw up in the first place
In general, the key when trying to salvage a screw up anywhere in dating (not just the approach) is to convince women it was a one off thing. However, an even better solution is to screw up less in the first place. Have a plan when approaching women and you will be less likely to need to use self deprecating humor or the ignore strategy. If you want to learn more about approaching women, check out The Art Of Sway.