January 17, 2014 / 5 Insecurities You Need To Manage
Overcoming every insecurity is difficult, but you can hope to manage them. Start with these 5.
We all have insecurities. Sometimes they are crippling in all aspects of our lives, other times, they are just minor annoyances. A lot of advice out there is aimed at "overcoming" an insecurity. The reality is; however, that there are many insecurities that we will always have: they will never fully go away. This does not mean you must be a slave to your insecurities. The key is to learn how to manage them. Here are 5 insecurities that you need to get a grip on and control if you want to succeed with women.
Looks are a major source of insecurity for many men. Even good looking guys are insecure about their looks very often. Being insecure about looks is quite normal. If you think we have it bad as men, be happy you aren’t a woman! However, despite how common this insecurity is, you must learn to manage it. Worrying about other men being better looking than you or some women thinking your ugly is not productive; you have got to learn to take active steps
The easiest way to do so is to become as good looking as you possibly can. For example, dress better, get in shape, and stay well groomed. Once you have maximized your looks potential, recognize that women in particular have a very hard time isolating looks from your other qualities. Accentuate your other qualities and you will see how you appear more attractive to women, even physically attractive!
2. Approach Anxiety
If there is one insecurity you really must "overcome" and not just "manage" it is approach anxiety. Being afraid to approach a woman in a particular instance is one thing, but if your fear of approaching women has gotten you to the point where you simply cannot approach any woman, you must overcome that. I have written about approach anxiety here, and have dedicated an entire chapter in The Art Of Sway to managing this issue.
The simple fact of the matter is that there is nothing you can do about your height. Wearing big heels or lifts can have a small impact but the actual height difference realized versus regular shoes is much smaller than advertised and depending your body type/limb ratio you can end up looking really weird.
Fortunately, while height matters, many girls simply do not care. I have been with many women who are taller than me (I’m only about 5’8″) and I have been rejected for being too short by women who are around 5′ tall. Do you find yourself only attracted to taller women? You can still get them: Read how here.
4. Sexual Performance
Concerned that you suck in bed, have a small penis, or whatever? Well, don’t be. You can work to improve your performance in bed and you should, but this is almost NEVER a deal breaker, at least initially.That’s right, contrary to popular belief, sexual performance is a relationship issue, not a one night stand or courtship issue. In the beginning, your sexual performance simply will not matter. So, there you go, don’t even worry about it!
If you are young, you shouldn’t even be worried about money because you are just starting out in life (maybe you are still a student). Money is not really an issue for you: no one will expect you to be wealthy. As you grow older; however, many women will care about your financial situation. Note, this does not mean they are golddiggers, but they will care.
How can you manage insecurities about money? The gold-digger article linked above offers some advice, but the best way, when it comes to dating, is to make it about choice. You chose to do what you do as opposed to go after the career that would land you the most money. If you chose a certain path, and weren’t just forced into it, or are unhappy in it, women will respect that and the amount of cash in your bank account will matter much less.
This list is far from exhaustive as the list of insecurities men have is virtually endless. Given the size and scope of it, you can’t expect to overcome all of them. What you can hope to do is manage them. Start by managing these 5 common sources of insecurity.