January 30, 2014 / 5 Situations Where Rejection Can Matter
Sometimes, there is a cost to being rejected. Here are 5 examples.
Much of being successful with women involves not fearing rejection. However, there are all kind of situations where there is a cost to being rejected, and you should manage your behavior accordingly. Here are 5 commonly occurring situations where you do want to weigh the costs of being rejected.
1. Work place approaches
In the work place there is a real cost to being rejected. Unwanted advances can even qualify as sexual harassment which can cost you your job and potentially even more than that! Also, the work place can become quite uncomfortable for the person you are pursuing if you get rejected. If you have to continue to interact with her she is going to feel very awkward around you and will always be second guessing if everything you say is a way to hit on her or unrelated to your romantic interest. These are just a few of the risks.
When I say friends I mean "real" friends, not "let’s just be friends" after a rejection. I am talking about women that you know as friends, potentially for a while, with no romantic involvement or romantic history including going on a date ever. If you decide to pursue this woman, there is the potential your friendship will suffer. This is especially true if you pursue her the "right" way which involves being confident, sexual, and "aggressive". A female friend who is not romantically interested in you will not want to hang out with you that much if you hit on her aggressively.
3. Friend of a friend
While it depends on the situation, if you meet a good friend of a friend, there is a higher cost to being rejected than normal. Your behavior does reflect on your friend, and if you pursue aggressively only to get rejected it could make things a little weird for your friend but not only that, it could impact future interactions with your friend (for example, hanging out with him/her and the friend you hit on at the same time). Note that this does NOT mean you should not hit on girls in your social circle. Girls in the social circle are often the easiest girls to date. What you should do; however, is focus on building attraction as opposed to "asking out". (Really, you should be doing that anyway).
4. The 100th girl at the venue
Rejection doesn’t matter on any individual random girl, but when you are constantly getting rejected, it will get the attention of others’ in the venue you risk burning out the venue and/or becoming marked. You don’t want to be the guy going to every girl, especially if you are getting rejected all the time.
5. The girl out with a guy
I don’t necessarily mean a girl with a boyfriend, though that is a waste of time also, but there is no real reason to bother going after girls who are clearly out with one guy. Yea, sometimes if you have really tight game you can make something happen, or if there are two girls and one guy, the guy is probably just a friend, but I think a better strategy is to focus on other situations where there is no guy impediment because not only can guys get violent in this situation, they can actively hurt your future game at the venue if you hit on their girlfriend/etc.
Don’t completely avoid the situation
While I have provided 5 scenarios where I think there is a cost to being rejected it does not mean you have to avoid these situations all together. What it means is that, since there is cost to being rejected, you want to "ask out" when you think your odds of being rejected are lower than the typical situation. This is best done by focusing on building attraction first, not just "asking her out".