Sep 08, 2013 / 5 Things to Avoid on a First Date
Knowing what not to say is sometimes as important as knowing what to say.
Conversation is a crucial part of dating, especially in one on one dates. Being a great conversationalist will make you more attractive to women and will increase your success with women by leaps and bounds. Having interesting things to talk about and knowing what to say is a large part of being successful with women. However, knowing what not to say, and what to avoid talking about, is also critically important, especially in the early stages of courtship. Here are 5 topics that I recommend avoiding on a first date. As with almost all the advice at Josh Sway, these are not hard and fast rules, just suggestions that should work "most of the time."
(1) <em>Politics</em> -- The saying never talk about politics with a beautiful women rings true most of the time. People are notoriously emotional (and irrational) when it comes to politics. While challenging a woman on a date is often a great way to build attraction, doing so with politics is a recipe to crash and burn most of the time. As an expert in online dating, I can't even begin to tell you how many profiles specifically tell people of certain political parties to F off. I have also been told many times that I would be denied sex if I were a member of a certain political party! There are plenty of other interesting things to talk about, it isn't worth going down this route.
(2) <em>Religion</em> -- The saying above also holds true for Religion. Emotions generally run high when it comes to religion, and generally not in a good way when it comes to dating! Try to skirt this topic; pretty much nothing good ever come from talking too much about religion on a first date. Not to mention most religions preach a high degree of modesty and prudishness; not what you want in your dates mind!
(3) <em>Health Issues</em> -- Unless it is unavoidable (for example, if you have a serious STD and you are about to sleep with your date), try to avoid talking about any health issues you may have on a first date. Not everyone is in perfect health, and you will find that many women are actually surprisingly tolerant when it comes to dating men with health issues. However, a first date is not the time to spring potential long term complications on a woman. Your goal with a first date is to attract and seduce.
(4) <em>Sexual history</em> -- I personally recommend trying to avoid learning about a woman's past sexual history for as long as possible, if at all. Most definitely; however, this subject matter should be considered pretty much off limits for a first date. Find another way to show you are desirable to women than bragging about your past sexual exploits, and don't try to find out about her sexual history on the first date, or at all.
(5) <em>Sex and the Ex</em> -- Conventional dating advice generally suggests avoiding talking about sex or about Exes. I don't entirely agree with this logic but I'll put them on the list nevertheless. Sometimes talking about sex can help promote sexual thoughts and desire in your date's mind. With that said, use sex talk sparingly until you have a lot of experience on dates. Not talking about a serious Ex is also not always realistic. If you dated someone for a long time, that is a significant component of your life and is not always possible to avoid talking about. If you try to hard to avoid it, your date may assume the worst. The best advice on this topic is to talk about them sparingly.
So there you have it, 5 topics you should try to avoid on a first date. As with most dating advice, nothing is hard and fast. It is better to be comfortable and confident while breaking a rule or two than being weird trying to weave your way around a topic on this list that for whatever reason becomes harder and harder to not engage. Always use common sense, if you have it!