May 20, 2014 / 6 Ways to Take Advantage of Dating in Your City
Dating in a city has tremendous benefits, but only if you take advantage of them.
It’s no secret that dating is much easier in large cities than small cities or towns. There are more women to choose from, more places to go, more hours of the day available to hit on women, and much fewer logistical impediments. However, none of this matters if you are not properly taking advantage of the benefits afforded to you by living in a city. Here are 6 key concepts when it comes to dating in a big city.
1. Meet In Your Neighborhood
I can’t stress enough how important this point is: meeting near where you live is what turns good dates to great dates and great dates to sex and relationships.
The reason is simple: you can speed up the seduction process by not letting the logistics of going back to your place delay intimacy. If you meet near where you live, then after the date it’s a lot easier to invite the girl back to where you live if it’s just a short walk or cab ride away.
When you meet far away from where you live (or where she lives if you are angling to get to her place) you are needlessly delaying in the event things are going well, introducing more risk she will forget about you, meet someone else, change her mind, or simply lose interest. The more dates you have to go on before you escalate, the worse position you’re putting yourself in.
Furthermore, you will be more comfortable going out in your area and at the places you know. Don’t underestimate the value of being comfortable and relaxed on a date, especially if you are a beginner and don’t go on many dates.
2. Don’t be afraid of dates involving drinking
Alcohol should never be used as a crutch (or worse), but a couple drinks can go a long way towards loosening things up. Your goal isn’t to shotgun beers and funnel alcohol down your date’s throat, but meeting for a drink is almost always a good date suggestion in a city. The reason? Driving is rarely, if ever an issue. Not having the "whose driving?" overhang can allow you to both relax and have a few drinks without having to worry about driving home drunk.
3. There’s a lot to do
You’ve probably read about "bouncing" from place to place as a way to keep things interesting on a date. While I usually just try to bounce once; from the original date spot to my apartment, if you feel you need another stop along the way you can easily do that in the city. No driving, no hassle, just go outside and walk to the next place. It’s easy to keep things interesting dating in the city, but not if you aren’t willing to move from one venue to another.
4. She’s jaded
Dating in the city is easy, and what that means is that women go on a lot of dates. This, however, does not mean that women go on a lot of good dates. Dating is relative: women typically evaluate men relative to others. And while women in cities have likely had a lot of great dates, they have had many really bad ones. Really bad dates make women jaded, and when a jaded women finally goes out on a good date, she is likely to enjoy herself way more than the woman who rarely dates!
5. You can stack dates
In the city, since you can suggest meeting your dates nearby, it’s is easy to have multiple dates in one night if you choose to. I don’t necessarily recommend this strategy, but you may find it to have some advantages. For example, if you can’t seem to close on the first date, at least "stacking dates" will make it more likely you close on at least one of them. Or if your work schedule means you’re generally only free one evening a night, stacking dates can let you maximize the number of women you go out with in your limited time. In the city, this is easy to do.
6. You have options
Perhaps the biggest benefit of living in a city is the number of options. So many cities have tons of single women waiting to be wooed by you. You also run very little risk of building a bad reputation (or any reputation for that matter) in a large city. This is probably the biggest advantage of dating in a city but it’s only worthwhile if you’re willing to get out there. It is probably the most crucial city dating concept: go for the many options available; don’t worry about screwing up, and don’t worry about "what she will think". There are plenty of fish in the ocean that is a big city.