October 12, 2013 / 6 okCupid Mistakes To Avoid
Don't make these really common okCupid mistakes and you will see more success online.
While I personally prefer pay sites such as match.com due to much more users among other benefits, okCupid is becoming quite popular (it’s actually owned by match.com) and is by far the best free dating site in my opinion. Sadly, many men (and women) are not unlocking their true potential on the site due to making a few really common mistakes. I am going to talk about these mistakes here.
1. Not focusing on your profile
A great profile is the key to success online, even more so than picking the most flattering picture! Many people focus on what message to write but the reality is that the main source of attraction online is your profile, not the first message. Have a great profile and you will also have people messaging you first! I regularly get messages like: "great profile!", "best profile I’ve ever read", etc.
2. Using mybestface incorrectly
The mybestface application is ok, for FACES. Unfortunately, because mybestface does not ask participants to compare thumbnails it often leads to very misleading ratings when non faces are introduced. "Action shots" such as the cool picture of you surfing will get high ratings on mybestface but in a thumbnail image look ridiculous. A good thumbnail is critical; perhaps more so than a good full sized image.
Note also, I said the application is OK, not good. Look at the image below.
Those are results of a trial I ran, where BOTH PICTURES WERE IDENTICAL (pictures not shown). Notice artist results in particular. The sample size of mybestface not to mention the response consistency are both quite terrible, so don’t rely on this tool too much. Interestingly, what my results do demonstrate is that views on looks are VERY individualized, which is a good thing!
3. Answering every open ended question
okCupid randomly selects which open ended question to show (provided it is not empty) when it displays search results. Because of this feature, it is important that any open ended question you answer has a "good" answer. Your self summary can be the best ever, but it won’t show up in searches most of the time. My solution? I ONLY fill in self summary. This is because my self summary is highly effective and I don’t want it to be ‘diluted’ by answers to questions that really don’t matter at all in 90+% of cases such as favorite books/etc.
4. Having "Online Goggles"
I don’t know what it is about online dating, but every guy online thinks he is suddenly gods gift to women and will only message ‘perfect 10s’ and what not. Some men even reject approaches from women who they would be salivating over at a bar. Stop automatically "deducting points" from women because they are doing online dating. And women, you are guilty of this as well!
5. Using the chat feature
Don’t bother with IMs. They do not provide a record of the conversation, are tedious given likely distractions while IM’ing and do not give you time to think. Furthermore, your profile does the attraction building pre-real life meeting, not witty banter over message or IM.
6. Not recycling images/profiles enough
Don’t forget to keep your profile fresh by changing images so you look different in searches. It sometimes even works best to re-create your profile completely under a different user name. This is a huge benefit of okCupid as it is really easy to do. If your profile has grown stale, delete it and create a new one.
There is a lot more to learn about online dating
There is a lot more that goes into online dating, but hopefully this article helps you stop making simple mistakes that could be costing you success. Read about my comprehensive, 258 page online dating guide here.