Jan 05, 2014 / 6 Situations To Avoid From The Start
Stop digging yourself a hole right away. Avoid these 6 situations if you can.
Many things can go wrong when it comes to dating and courtship. A lot of the time the things that go wrong are not your fault, not preventable, and not avoidable. However, many of the issues men face when it comes to dating and relationships are due to their own doing; in particular, do to getting involved in a bad situation right off the bat. Here are 6 bad starting spots you want to avoid.
<h4>1. Long Distance</h4>
If long distance occurs during a serious relationship it is one thing, but to dive head first into the long distance game, knowingly going after a girl that you will have to freaking FLY to see is a recipe for disaster. Long distance relationships are notoriously difficult to maintain even if there is a strong backbone of a solid relationship going into the event. To pursue it from the get go is completely idiotic. If you really think this woman is so special you cannot find anything like her near you, read our articles about <a href="/articles/search/oneitis">Oneitis</a>.
<h4>2. Women with boyfriends</h4>
Despite my <a href="/articles/view/if-she-says-she-has-a-boyfriend-move-on/">advice</a> and that of many others, men insist on relentlessly pursuing women with boyfriends. While it is possible to succeed with women who have boyfriends, you are starting way behind the pack. If you are running a marathon would you rather run the required 26.2 miles or run an extra 10 miles? The answer is pretty obvious, yet for some reason when it comes to women all logic goes out the window.
<h4>3. Major lies before meeting (online dating)</h4>
While lying about age applies to both real life meeting and online dating, a major mistake men make is lying significantly about their age, height, and physical appearance (through misleading pictures) in order to get more dates. This approach does get more e-mails and dates but it ends up getting usually very bad dates as you will appear insecure and dishonest right away. Pretty much the definition of "starting in a hole". So if you are wondering "how do I tell her my real age?", the answer is, don't lie about it in the first place!
<h4>4. Large Age Gaps</h4>
Let's face it, age does matter. Women prefer older men, but often not <strong>that</strong> much older. If you are 41 trying to get a 21 year old, you are facing a major uphill battle. Yes, it is doable, but it isn't easy, and the value you need as a 41 year old (looks, money, power, etc.) to reliably seduce 21 year olds is much higher than what you would need to get equally hot women closer to your age. Besides the optics and social stigma of a large age gap, there is a huge cultural, social, experience and knowledge gap that make these relationships unlikely to work.
Getting involved with a co-worker is usually asking for trouble. To be fair, we spend so much time with our co-workers that developing feelings for them is natural. Unfortunately, making things happen, unless there is a crazy amount of chemistry and that "instant spark" from <strong>both sides</strong> is quite difficult. I prefer to avoid it to begin with if I can because it's a lot more work and has much greater implications if you fail than dating people outside the workplace.
<h4>6. Language Barriers</h4>
I regularly see questions on forums by men seeking advice with a particular woman that hardly speaks their language. The best advice in this situation is to just forget about it. Not being able to easily communicate is a huge barrier that is extremely difficult to overcome in the long term and short term. Looks really aren't everything, even for us guys.
The 6 situations I describe are just a few out of many similar ones. At the end of the day, there are a lot of women out there, even if it doesn't feel like it from time to time. Use your time and emotional capital wisely; don't just waste it on situations that are unlikely to amount to anything from the get-go.