Sep 18, 2013 / 6 Tricks to Get Her Back to Your Place
Here are 6 simple techniques you can use to get women back to your place after a good date.
One major sticking point for many men is how to seal the deal. Whether it is due to fear of rejection, lack of confidence, lack of comfort, general "cluelessness", or all of the above, men struggle to figure out exactly how to get a woman back to their place (or invite themselves to her place) after a good date. Perhaps you have been in this situation: You know the date is going well, you may have even been making out, but as you leave the bar or restaurant, you simply don’t know what to say or what to do to continue the date. In the end, usually you part ways in some sort of awkward manner; maybe a hug and a kiss on the lips, or a short make out session.
This is an all too common scenario that puts a serious damper on your ability to both physically escalate and believe it or not, see the woman again. Don’t end a date that is going really well, a date that could end up back in your (or her) bedroom, because you do not have a plan. In this article I will provide you with 6 “tricks” to get your date to the bedroom; so the next time this situation comes up, you have a plan.
Before I get to the techniques I want to bring up three important points. First off, do NOT be afraid of rejection. If the woman likes you and wants to see you again, whether or not she is comfortable going back to your place (or bringing you to hers) or not will have very little if ANY impact on your odds of seeing her again. If you are afraid to ask because you think it will turn her off, DON’T BE.
The second very important point is to remember that just because a woman is comfortable enough to go back to your place (or hers) does NOT mean she is necessarily comfortable enough to physically escalate with you. Do not EVER assume that a woman is comfortable with any amount of physical escalation, especially just because she agreed to come up to your/her place.
The third point is that due to societal reasons and us Men(read about the Myth of the One Night Stand), even if a woman wants to come back to your place to get more intimate with you, or even have sex with you, she is unlikely to bring it up herself. She will be concerned that you will (erroneously) judge her. Many times this is the only reason you may need a “trick” to get her back to your place. You want to give her an excuse to come back to your place that doesn’t make her feel easy; a reason that she can use to convince herself you are not just inviting her up to try to sleep with her. Here are some ways to do that.
<strong>Trick #1: Just ask her!</strong> This isn’t even a trick but you would be surprised how often the answer to the following question: “Do you want to come up [over] and hang out for a bit?” is “Sure!” A lot of times all it takes is asking. Some women want to physically escalate but will just not make the first move. Make the first move.
<strong>Trick #2: “Want to come up to hear me play guitar/see my artwork/etc.”</strong> This is my go to method and one of the most successful approaches to getting a woman back to your place. As I mentioned in point number three: many women may be completely comfortable going back to your place just to hook up but they do not want to be judged as so many men. Coming up to hear you play guitar (if you do) or for you to show her something interesting that only exists at your place gives her a great excuse to “save face”.
<strong>Trick #3: Setting the stage pre-date.</strong> This is a technique that works best if you are meeting extremely close to your place (mostly useful for those who live and date in a city). The idea here is to come up with some excuse to go back to your place (or at least your building) before the date even starts. “I forgot my wallet” is a good one to use; or if she is coming with a big work bag, offer her to drop it off with your doorman or at your apartment. You still have to go on the date, of course, but in the first scenario your date is subconsciously more comfortable with your place making it more likely she will agree to go back there later and in the latter scenario, she has no choice but to at least go back to your building to get her stuff! You can also try to ask her (if you are near her place) if you can drop something off there.
<strong>Trick #4: “You have got to see this funny youtube…”</strong> This is similar to trick #2 but much more universal. It is pretty easy to think of some good youtube videos that just don’t have the same effect when watched on a phone.
<strong>Trick #5: “Can I use the bathroom”</strong> This is one of the easiest ways to get back to her place. Believe it or not, almost no woman will be turned off by you asking this. Of course, if you use this technique you need to either plan on walking (or driving) your date back to her place.
<strong>Trick #6: Have the date at your place to begin with!</strong> Don’t be afraid to suggest a date at your place to watch a movie, play board games, hang out on your roof deck, etc. Many women are receptive, often even for a first date depending on how much rapport you have already built with them.
I hope you find these 6 “tricks” useful for you. Frankly, most of these tricks are not so much tricks as straightforward approaches to taking a good date to the next level that hinge on the third important point I discussed earlier (Women often need to justify to themselves you are inviting them over not just for sex). These tricks have worked well for me, and I am confident they will work for you. But perhaps even more importantly, I hope you will become more comfortable using ANY of them, and seeing that even when they don’t work, nothing bad is going to happen!