January 03, 2014 / 6 Venue Selection Principles
Not sure where to take a date? Let these principles guide you.
"Where should I take her on a date?" has got to be one of the most popular questions out there. How to answer this depends on many factors such as geography, age, finances, timing, and the like. However, there are several principles that you should strive to follow when selecting a venue for a date. Here are 6 of them.
1. Proximity to a "sex location"
A "sex location" is simply a location where you can get intimate with the other person if the chemistry is there. Usually this means your place or hers. I cannot stress enough how important this is. Too many men take things too slow and do not escalate enough, and part of the reason is logistics. The primary reason within logistics is simply not having dates in a location where you can take things further. Don’t make this mistake. Find venues near you or her.
2. Venues that are not too loud
Trendy and cool is great, so is live music, unless it is too loud. Yelling at each other across a table or side by side at a bar is a great way to kill a good vibe. Always be sure you can hear each other and that you aren’t re-enacting a scene out of some lame romantic comedy because while being awkward and completely bombing dates works for losers in PG-13 rated movies, it doesn’t work in real life.
3. Dimly lit settings
Dim lights are romantic and sexual. As I wrote about in my Day Date article, it always makes sense to take advantage of social conditioning as opposed to fighting it. Don’t fight the fact we associate dim lighting with romance and sex, take advantage of it instead! Furthermore, dim lighting can make you look better which only helps.
4. Locations where you can sit close to each other
Pay attention to table size and seating arrangements. As you know, playful touching (kino) is hugely important in being successful on a date. For that to happen, you need to be able to be close enough to touch your date. This also holds for dates where you are doing "activities" (though I generally do not recommend these on a first date). Pick an activity where you can touch your date and be physically close to your date. Skyping is not a date!
5. Venues that don’t have slow service
Your date is going great, you are cuddling on a couch at the venue, sharing a drink, making out, and talking about going back to your place while you ask for the check…only for it to take an hour until it comes back to you…by which point she’s tired, you’re annoyed, and the night fizzles. Bad service can ruin an otherwise great date, in particular if it is slow.
6. Venues that are financially appropriate for you
You should not count on your date paying (actually, on first dates, you should be paying but that’s an article for another day) so always be sure to pick a venue you can afford. In other words, if you can only afford $12 a drink, don’t go to a fancy wine bar hoping your date orders the one $12 drink and not one of the 50 $20 options.
There’s a lot to date selection that isn’t covered here, but these 6 principles should be a useful guide that applies to most dates.