February 01, 2014 / 6 Ways To Get Pumped To Meet Women
If you struggle to get in the right mindset to go out and be successful with women, try these 6 techniques.
Those of you who have read my site for a while know that I generally am not a fan of visualization techniques or other similar techniques like standing in front of the mirror telling myself I am the shit. I prefer to go out with the goal of results and let results and improvements lead to a self esteem improvement which then creates a positive feedback loop of results -> self esteem improvements -> more results -> more self esteem improvements.
However, this isn’t to say that I have never "got myself pumped" to go out or that there is no value to some more individual mental techniques. Here are 6 ways that I have found helped me get pumped to go out and meet women.
1. Having a goal and a plan
Many experts suggest putting as little pressure as possible on yourself and going into the night with the simple goal of just "having a good time". There is merit to this approach, but let’s be realistic, weren’t we all doing that by default before we decided what we were naturally doing wasn’t working and we wanted to get better? Instead, I suggest trying to have a goal and/or a plan on how to get to that goal. It doesn’t need to be a difficult goal like "getting a threesome", but don’t sell yourself short either with a pointless goal like "get blown out by 5 women." Give yourself a realistic goal (or one that is a slight reach) and devise a plan on how to get there.
2. Recall past successes
One thing that really helps me get ready to go out is recalling nights where I was "on" and had success. I think about what went right in those situations and what my course of action was at the time. I find it extremely valuable to think about successes in order to build some confidence before going out. Knowing that you can succeed and that you have succeeded is a great start.
3. Think about your positive traits
Instead of looking in the mirror and worrying about your receding hairline or weird smile, think about your positive traits. These do not have to be physical: for example, are you a great guitarist, artist? Do you excel at work or school? As I have written here, you have go to have something going for you to attract women. Think about what those things are and then make it a goal to demonstrate those strengths to women.
4. Accept randomness
For those of you who have a major fear of failure which is an impediment to your success with women, recall and accept that "randomness" plays a role in success. Remember that any night you go out is just one night and anything can happen. Your success or failure on a particular night does not mean you did anything right or wrong. Accept the randomness inherent in dating, courtship, and seduction.
Stop worrying about the door policy at the club, how much drinks are going to cost, how you are going to get up for work the next day, that crazy long project you have to finish for school, or whatever. Focus on how you are going to get women. Think about women, women, and more women. Don’t be distracted by potential impediments and don’t fill your mind with potential excuses to do nothing. Instead, focus on women.
6. Leave the house
Besides the obvious, having to leave the house to go out, I find that I am more successful with women if I haven’t been holed up in my apartment all day. Go to the grocery store, go for a short walk, meet a friend for lunch, go to the gym, or anything else that gets you out of the house on a night you are going out. Going out of the house is kind of like "warm up" so to speak. It gets you interacting with others in the best case, and in the worst case, it at least gets the blood flowing and gets you in the mindset of leaving the "safety" of your home.