September 23, 2013 / 7 Ways to Get Her Alone With You
Getting a girl away from her "pack" is quite a challenge. Here are 7 ways to go about it.
The Problem Getting Her Alone
How many times has this happened to you: You’ve eyed an attractive woman from across the bar, honed in, and made your approach. You make landfall, confident as ever. She’s interested in what you have to say, she’s engaged in the conversation, she wants to hear more, she’s putting her arm on your shoulder; let’s just say, things are going well. Except, there’s just one problem, she’s with a group of 5 of her friends and you can already see one, or more, of them is about to make the rest of your night much more difficult.
Getting her alone with you can take things to the next level
Getting a girl you want alone is crucial if you are to really get to know her and be able to go further than just exchanging pleasantries and numbers only to be forgotten about the next day. When you are alone with her, she can really open up, both emotionally, and depending on where you guys are, physically.
But isolating her isn’t easy
Problem is, isolation is easier said than done. Women are very socially conscious, not to mention there are potential safety issues in certain situations (like leaving the bar alone with a guy she just met). However, despite the inherent difficulties in isolation, it can and is done regularly. Before I get into the 7 ways I like to isolate a woman from her group, I want to discuss group size and it’s impact in isolating an individual.
Ideally, you should be looking to find groups that are similar in size to your group. If you are a group of 3 guys, go for a group of 3 girls. However, when this isn’t possible, I like to go for very large groups as opposed to groups that are only slightly larger. If you are 3 guys, a group of 6 might be very hesitant to fracture into two, whereas if you approached a group of 15, 3 girls gone off on their own goes with the territory of big groups. With this little piece of advice covered, here are the 7 ways I like to get her alone.
7 Ways to get her alone
1. Engage her friends and get her friends permission
"I’m kidnapping your friend for a moment, don’t worry, I’ll bring her back soon!" is a line I like to use once I have built some rapport with her friends. Unfortunately, when a girl is with a group of friends, your girls’ approval is not the only thing that matters. Build some rapport with her friends, gain some of their trust, and then just tell them you are "borrowing", "kidnapping", or "stealing" their friend for a short period of time.
2. "Let’s go over there, I can’t hear you that well"
If you are having a good conversation and things are going well, use that as an excuse to get things somewhere more quiet. Don’t ask permission, take her by the hand while you suggest a quieter location. "Let’s go over there where it’s quieter."
3. "I’m going to get a drink, come join me"
I know there is a huge aversion in many schools of thought to paying for anything when it comes to women; however, this approach is totally different than giving in when a girl asks you to buy her a drink. Plus, how much does a drink cost, $13? Either way, this technique is effective whether or not you even plan on buying her a drink. It is completely natural for you to want to go to the bar for a drink, use it to also get her alone. Furthermore, I have found that girls’ friends are much more receptive to their friends getting a drink with a guy than "being borrowed to go to some vague unknown location".
4. The dance floor is your friend
If there is a dance floor or dance area, dancing is a great way to separate a girl from her pack. You can even invite the whole group to the dance floor and then work to isolate the one you are interested in once you are there.
5. Just ask her to leave with you
You can ask her to leave with you to another bar, to grab a late snack, or even your place. You can also suggest her entire group join you at a new venue or back at your place for a few drinks or whatnot. Sometimes when the chemistry is strong, all it actually takes is asking. I like to use the "Shall we get out of here?" line, but there are many variants which are similarly effective. Your tone and confidence in delivery is more important than the exact words you use.
6. Use your wing-men
Wing-men can be invaluable in helping you isolate. Whether it is by distracting her friends, building up your social proof and attractiveness, or making up an anchor point ("I’m going to hang w/my friends, come join us, bring your friends (or not)"), they should be helping you isolate if the chemistry is there.
7. Have anchor points
I hinted at an anchor point in (6). An anchor point can be a table where your friends are sitting (perhaps even with girls), a certain location at the venue that is interesting for some reason, the outdoor patio, etc. Bringing a girl back to an anchor point is often easier than simply pulling her away to a random location.
Getting her alone is one of the most difficult parts of picking up women, so even though I have used all these techniques to some success, there are never guarantees. With that said, the majority of advice out there focuses on approach #1 (befriend the group and then borrow). I want you to know there are more options than that alone.
Having problems approaching her? Read about 6 ways to approach women.