October 11, 2013 / 9 Signs She Isn’t Interested
Here are 9 signs that mean you need to either step up your game or move on.
Earlier, I wrote about 6 signs common indicators of interest. If you see these signs, chances are things are good. But how about disinterested? Sometimes, especially when we are really into a woman, it’s hard to see the signs that doesn’t feel the same way. Here are 9 signs she is not interested that should give you pause and cause you to reevaluate. They may appear the very first minute you talk to her, or they may appear on a date or even after a couple of dates. Some are obvious, some are subtle, and some you may find controversial. Hopefully, you find all of them useful.
1. She says she is not interested
Sorry, but if she says she is not interested, she is probably not interested! This would seem quite obvious but for some reason there is this belief that it is so easy to convince a girl to become interested in you; however, while possible, it is a long arduous process and the first step is always to give her space and accept her initial decision.
2. She becomes more withdrawn
As in our 6 common indicators of interest article, sometimes the delta (change) in her behavior is more important than the behavior itself. If you notice she becomes more withdrawn physically and is engaging in much less physical contact than usual, she is likely losing interest. If she starts speaking much less than normal, she’s unlikely to be interested.
3. She says she has a boyfriend
While there are a lot of schools of thought that claim this pronouncement is a "test", I completely disagree. It is true that women often say they have a boyfriend when they actually do not; however, their reasons for saying it are almost always the same: to make you go away! You can convert a girl with a boyfriend and you can "plow through" this objection but you are starting well in the red if a girl says this. I recommend moving on to one of the millions of women who do not say they have a boyfriend when you talk to them (many of which, may actually have a boyfriend!). This latter point in parenthesis really hammers home point #3. The fact that so many girls WITH boyfriends say they don’t have one if they are interested suggests that it is highly unlikely telling you she has a boyfriend is anymore than a sign of disinterest.
4. She takes a long time to respond to texts
Some women simply take a long time to respond to text (again, pay attention to behavioral patterns and change in them) but often times, if they take a long time to respond to you, they are not interested. It’s not a cut and dry rule (nothing ever is), but don’t get your hopes up if you are waiting hours or days for responses to texts.
5. She flakes (especially if she doesn’t re initiate contact)
While women flake (cancel/bail on a plan) a lot in general, flaking is never a good sign, it is at most neutral. One particularly bad flake is when a woman cancels and then doesn’t reconnect with you to suggest rescheduling. Most likely, in that case, she is not interested in you and you should move on.
6. She avoids eye contact and physical contact
Just as eye contact and physical contact are signs of interest, avoiding them are signs of disinterest. If your date isn’t looking you in the eye and is avoiding physical contact, she is probably not interested.
7. She talks about other guys positively
We have all been in this situation and not only is it super annoying to hear a girl we are into talk about how so and so is super hot, it also means she is probably not interested. It’s a bit of a grey area, especially if she is talking about a celebrity. However, generally speaking, a woman you haven’t slept with or are seriously dating talking about how another man is attractive is a bad sign.
8. She schedules plans after meeting you
There are obvious exceptions to this rule; for example, if it’s your first date and you met online, but often times if a girl makes plans in advance for after your meeting, it is a bad omen. She basically ensures that there cannot be a high level of intimacy and that the date has a set cut off time. Some girls are a bit clueless about the sign they are sending when they do this, so what I suggest is to cancel/not agree to plans of this nature (if you know she has plans afterwards).
9. She avoids a one on one meeting
If she doesn’t want to meet you alone, bail on her, she isn’t interested. There are some times when this isn’t necessarily true, but generally speaking, especially if you proposed a one on one meeting and she responded with a group invitation, she is not interested. I will virtually never agree to go out in a group setting unless I know for sure the girl is really into me.
There you have it, 9 signs she’s not interested that every man should know. Remember, nothing is guaranteed, and even if you notice some of these signs it doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t interested (use common sense and pay attention to indicators of interest well)! However, in general, if any of the above is true, you have your work cut out for you.