March 03, 2014 / Absolute Age Trumps Age Gaps
Going after an older woman? Focus on her absolute age, not the age gap.
I get a lot of questions along the lines of "getting older women". I will write more about this topic later, but the first point that you must understand when it comes to older women is that, while the age gap is a driver in how you should behave and how you should "game", the woman’s absolute age is just as much, if not more of a driver in their behavior. As a result, you should be thinking as much about their current age as you are about how the age gap will drive your results.
General Absolute Age Principles
Once you begin thinking about absolute age, and not just the age gap, you will better understand how you should proceed with women of all ages. Here are a few general principles that I have encountered hold true with a good number of women of particular age groups. As always, these are generalizations and will not be true for every woman. But, they are a start.
1. Early 20s
While women in their early 20s are just becoming adults, they are often hard pressed to make this realization. It is this age group that is one of the most difficult to seduce when you are younger not only due to logistical issues (in the US, not being able to go out to bars and many other venues if you are under 21) but also due to the often premature desire of women in their early 20s to be looking for their prince charming who fits all the stereotypes of the perfect man. Unfortunately, that usually means being a couple years older unless there is instant physical attraction.
2. Mid-late 20s
The woman in the mid 20s generally has a pretty balanced perspective and will be open to a wider range of dating and courtship. She knows "prince charming" isn’t a real person and as such, despite being on the lookout for her "soul-mate" she is much more open to expanding her dating horizons. She is often picky, but given most logistical barriers are gone as long as you are over 21, she is less likely to care if you are a few years younger than her; provided you are not at a different stage of your life than she is.
3. Early 30s
Women in their early 30s start to feel the beat of their biological clock. How they respond varies, but in general, a common response is to significantly expand their dating pool. They are still looking for someone to settle down with and have children, but given their perceived (and real) time-clock and dating experience, they have all but abandoned the idea of meeting "prince charming". This is despite what most older single women say ("I am single because I refuse to settle.") Early 30s isn’t old, but when women hit the 30 mark, they start to lose some confidence and have concerns that they are old.
4. Mid-late 30s
In the mid-late 30s, time is of the essence to find someone if raising a family is on their agenda. Despite this, I have noticed women in this age group have a seriously increased sex drive which makes them much more open to relationships that are unlikely to have a long term future. This age range is the group which probably cares the least about an age gap.
In the 40s, many women have either given up on raising a family or have a family already. These women’s behavior is often all over the map. Some behave similarly to a mid-late 30s age woman who will pursue relationships for purely physical reasons as well as for emotional ones while others are dead set at finding a long term companionship and have little to no interest in much else. Naturally, the latter is much more difficult to seduce as a younger man than the former.
While age gaps matter in the pursuit of women, don’t ignore their absolute age. Women’s behavior is often driven more by their absolute age than their age in relation to yours.