Josh Sway
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/ Always Assume Continuity

Use this powerful little conversation trick to turn a good date into a great one.


How many times, while on a date, have you talked about a country you've visited, a nice restaurant you've eaten at, a cool concert you checked out, or an art gallery you really liked? I'm going to guess many times; probably even every time. It's a good strategy to talk about the cool things that are a part of your life. But you can take it even a step further. What if instead of the following conversation most guys have: Him: "I was out at this great sushi place the other night, I never had such good hamachi before." Her: "Oh wow, that's awesome, I love hamachi." Him: "Cool" You did the following: You: "I was out at this great sushi place the other night, I never had such good hamachi before." Her: "Oh wow, that's awesome, I love hamachi." You: "Nice. You'll love this place then. We'll have to go sometime." What you did here is indirectly assume that hanging out in the future is a done deal. In other words, you assumed continuity. Assuming continuity is a simple technique that can have a very profound impact, especially when a date is going well.

Assuming continuity helps lower her guard

When a woman is on a date, especially a first date, her guard is up. She's not only evaluating whether or not she likes you and is compatible with you, she is also evaluating your behavior and trying to figure out what you are thinking. She's also on the lookout for potential red flags. For example, women are often wary about guys they suspect might be of the "hit it and quit it" type. If that's not who you are, assuming continuity will go to great lengths to ease her concerns. I mean, you are already talking about future activities you think you two will have fun doing together. To her that means you're thinking about more than just how you can get in her pants tonight.

Assuming continuity is alpha

TVJ likes to say: "Alpha men don't ask, they tell." Obviously, an alpha male isn't going through life like Clarence Thomas on the supreme court never asking a question but when an alpha male asks a girl out, he doesn't do much asking. He doesn't ask her what she wants to do, where she wants to meet, and whether or not he should pick her up or meet her there. He suggests a date, time, place, and activity. The only question he asks is whether she's in! Assuming continuity helps frame you as an alpha male. Take the previous example: You: "Nice. You'll love this place then. We'll have to go sometime.". How much asking is there in that statement? None. And the first thing that will come to mind when she hears a statement like this from you is this: "Whoa, that is the kind of thing all the alpha males I know say."

Assuming continuity shows you want someone to share your awesome life with

In general, when you assume continuity, it is used in response to enthusiasm about something you've done in your life. That most likely means your life is fun, and a fun life is a major DHV. Assuming continuity helps further emphasize the fun in your life and gets her thinking about being a part of that fun. More importantly, it sends her a message that you want to share the awesomeness in your life with her. What girl wants a guy who talks about all these cool activities he does but has no interest in sharing the great things in his life with anyone else? Not many. Assuming continuity sends her the message that you aren't that guy. In fact, it sends her the opposite message, it sends the message that you are a guy who likes having other people in his life, and likes sharing his awesome life with others. Now THAT is attractive.

Don't be weird about it

Assuming continuity is a subtle yet extremely powerful technique you can use to dramatically increase your success on dates (especially first or second dates). However, don't overdo it. There's no hard and fast rule, but if you notice you've invited your date out to four restaurants and two island vacations in the course of 45 minutes, you are probably overdoing it. Use her enthusiasm level as a gauge of when and how frequently to use 'assumed continuity'.



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