February 12, 2014 / Ask Her Out Quickly
Don't delay a first date, try to have it as soon as possible.
Maybe you met out at a bar, maybe you met online, or maybe you met while taking a stroll down the street. No matter where you met, if logistics allow it and you are interested in seeing her again, arrange a date quickly. How quick is quick? I try to arrange for 3 days from the time of meeting or first contact at the latest. Not getting out on that first date quickly enough can majorly hurt your chances and you will often see a good thing fizzle out and die due simply to a delay in the first date.
3 bad reasons to delay
There are a few reasons men often delay getting a woman out on a date, here are the three most common and why they are bad ideas.
1. Fear of rejection
By far the most common reason men don’t ask a girl out is fear of rejection. Instead they keep delaying and delaying in the hope that the timing will be perfect, they will grow on her, or whatever other nonsense rationalization they give. There are some good reasons to delay asking a woman out or arranging a date for later than within 3 days, but fear of rejection is not one of them.
2. I need time to arrange a great date
In my 7 dating myths article, I discuss in the very first point how creative dates are not important. By far the most important element in a date is the logistics element (it should be conducive to physical and emotional escalation). Have some great date idea but it can only be done in 2 weeks? Save it for the second date then. Get her out early, before she forgets about you, meets someone else, loses interest in you, or finds some random reason she is no longer interested.
3. I want to build more attraction
Attraction is best built in person, not over the phone whether it be a call, text, snap chat, or whatever. Getting a woman out in person is the best way to build attraction. With that said, if she is not attracted enough to you to even go out with you, asking her out is futile. However, that is more likely a problem with what went on when you guys first met, not something that you will likely be able to repair through bothering her on WhatsApp.
3 Good Reasons To Move Quickly
On the flip side, there are many reasons you should get her out as soon as possible. Here are a three of them:
1. Less Uncertainty
Girls are notoriously indecisive and uncertain in their actions. The more time you give them to think about things, the more chances through the seemingly random volatility of their emotions they will lose interest in you. Don’t give her time to change her mind, get her out while you are fresh in her mind.
2. Less Competition
If a woman is going out with you on a first date, she is probably "dating around". As I wrote in my Taking It Slow Is A Bad Strategy article, the longer you delay, the more chances another guy will enter the picture. You always want to be a step ahead of other guys, whether it be to the first date, to the second date, to sex, to a relationship, and obviously also to marriage if you are that into her. Be one step ahead of the competition by giving them less time to act.
Not beating around the bush and asking a girl out quickly is a way to display confidence. It can actually increase her attraction for you if you do not delay and simply act on what you want. Women like confident men, and this is a very easy way to demonstrate confidence even if you don’t have any because it is a concrete action you can take as opposed to a vague ‘state of mind’.
Bottom line, don’t delay asking her out, if you think there is attraction, get her out ASAP.