December 28, 2013 / Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
Every woman has different taste. Take advantage of that!
They say "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and "they" are right. Unfortunately, too many men and women fail to grasp or believe this proverb. Women assume you have to look like a Victoria Secret model to be considered beautiful; men think if they aren’t tall, in shape, and with angular facial features they will be considered ugly. While those particular appearances are more likely than not to be found attractive, the range of looks that any individual may find attractive is much much larger than that. Take advantage.
Women are physically attracted to many types of men
As I previously mentioned, there are certain "looks" that most women find attractive, but in general, women find many more types of men physically attractive as well. When you factor in how many women there are in the world and how different their taste is, it is a statistical certainty that there are beautiful women who are attractive to all sorts of features considered traditionally unattractive, for instance baldness, fatness, large amounts of facial hair (full long beards), pale skin, freckles, and red hair.
That’s right: there are women out there who are specifically attracted to just about all the things you dislike about yourself! Looks do matter, but your looks to the girl you are talking to matter much more than your "overall looks". Whether or not you think you are ugly doesn’t matter, it only matters what the girl you talk to thinks, and she might think very differently than you!
No excuse not to optimize your appearance
With that said, just because someone might find you attractive the way you are, it still makes sense to try to expand the set of those who will find you attractive to be as large as possible. Some women like fat men, but much more women like men who are in shape. Since almost anyone can go from being fat and out of shape to thin and buff, it’s worth putting in that effort. Women also find men who dress well to be more attractive, on average. Dressing well in itself is "in the eye of the beholder", but few women are attracted to men who dress like homeless guys, so at least don’t do that! "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is a "fallback" or a "backup", it is not a strategy.
Use "the eye of the beholder" to optimize wisely
Optimizing your appearance always makes sense. You can use "the eye of the beholder" to be smart about how you do it. For instance, if you are significantly balding, you have two "optimization" options: one would be to try to hide that you are balding with some sort of hair styling as much as possible. The other is to own it and just shave your entire head. "Eye of the beholder" logic suggests the latter is the wise way to go about it.
Why? Well, baldness is a trait that many women actually find attractive. You might as well take advantage of the set of women who like bald men versus focusing all your attention trying to mold yourself as close as you can (which may not be close at all) to the "classically good looking" guy model. Take advantage of the fact that women have all sorts of tastes to give yourself much greater freedom in how you go about looking your best.