January 15, 2014 / Being Angry Won’t Help
Don't hate the game, learn how to play it well.
Many of you arrived at my site from the so called ‘seduction community’. Despite ‘PUA’ (pick up artist) having a bad reputation in the mainstream, much of the actual actionable advice is very sound. However, one recent trend that I have found quite disturbing, not to mention ineffective, is very aggressive "inner game" advice that does little more than try to rile the reader up and make them angry at social constructs, women, and just about everything else. Enough of this already. Being angry accomplishes nothing.
Instead of being angry, make change
There are entire blogs out there dedicated to spewing anger at the world, especially when it comes to dating. Articles about how women are bitches and whores, articles about how men should treat women like shit, articles about how you need to be an asshole to get women etc etc. etc. The sad part is the vast majority of these articles give very little to no substantive advice; they are nothing more than pep talks fueled by anger.
Instead of falling into the vicious cycle of anger fueling more anger, play the game within the constructs of reality. All those things that make you angry? Turn them around and take advantage of them so that they benefit you.
For example, don’t like that being in shape is a turn on to women? Instead of bitching about it while eating a big mac, go out there and get in shape so you can use your body to your advantage. Have an issue with women being more sexually liberated? Why not take advantage of that to get laid more often, and with less effort? Frustrated that 20% of men are sleeping with 80% of women (or whatever the numbers are)? Work to be one of those 20%! Bitching about reality hardly ever changes reality.
In general, anger is usually directed as these four related concepts, that I will tackle here.
1. Sexual liberation of women
So many men are constantly complaining about how women will sleep around, fuck some other guy behind their boyfriend’s back, control the sex life in the relationship, and what not. Perhaps it’s due to a blurring of historical gender norms where women were dependent on their male provider, or maybe it is simply due to the overall trend of sexual liberation in most parts of the world period.
While there has definitely been a trend towards women becoming more sexually liberated, this is actually a good thing! It is easier than ever to sleep with women with hardly any effort, and isn’t that what seduction is fundamentally about? And what is so wrong about women no longer being dependent on men? Isn’t that better? Learn how to be a lover and not a provider, and you will get more sex, with more women, while having to provide less and less to do so!
2. The importance of looks
Not every man is good looking but almost every man can become attractive (not necessarily physically). Looks is a real source of insecurity for many men and the realization that yes, looks do matter to women is often painful. However, it should not be a source of negative anger but a source of motivation to become attractive in the multitude of other ways one can be attractive. Not to mention, even someone with an ugly face can become significantly more physically attractive by dressing well and getting in good physical shape.
3. The importance of power
Like looks, power is a valuable asset for a man to have. I personally think it is the most valuable and most attractive quality a man can have when it comes to attracting women. You only need to look as far as old frail politicians with beautiful wives and mistresses to see that this makes sense. Many men are uncomfortable with this, and often angry about this. Instead of, well, taking advantage of the fact that if you can convince a woman you have power she will ignore almost all of your negative traits!
4. Women’s choice
At the end of the day, 1,2 and 3, are all related to the true crux of the issue in my opinion: men being uncomfortable that women have a choice in their sex lives. It may seem absurd that men are angry about this, but for most of the past thousands of years (and still in many parts of the world today), women were not in control of their sex lives. As a matter of fact, they often had little if any choice in the matter. Well, in most societies today, this world is over. Accept that women will have to CHOOSE you and you will stop being angry about it and realize that it is not that hard to make women choose you. Learn how to be chosen, and you may end up being way more successful than in the boring constructs of the past where women were chosen for you, if you were in a position to be chosen for in the first place.