Josh Sway is every man's source for dating, relationships, self-improvement, and more.

Articles advice from Josh

/ Can't get the Girl you Want? Here's why.

Follow these three tips to dramatically increase your chances with any woman.

It’s one of the most common complaints men have, so don’t feel like you are the only one. “I’m great with women, but there is this one girl I really want and I can’t get her”. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been asked this or read this question on a forum I would have a lot of nickels. While being generally unsuccessful with women is frustrating; the frustration of men who ARE successful with women but simply can’t get that one special woman may even be worse!

“It doesn’t make any sense” these men complain. “I barely have to try to get women who are just as attractive!” or maybe “I have to swat women away like flies when I’m out”, etc. etc. And then they will go on about how with this one special girl, they tried every trick in the book, put in all this effort, wined her and dined her, didn’t behave like the asshole they normally are around women and still they had no success.

Well, therein is the problem. The reason these men are failing with that special woman; the reason you can’t get the girl you want is because you are treating her differently. You are most likely making one of the following three crucial mistakes that are bound to leave you without the girl and send you into one-itis rehab before you know it. Don’t get one-itis by trying a whole new approach to seducing a woman “you actually like”, by following these three tips:

(1)    <strong>Don’t use different seduction techniques on her</strong> – If you are an NFL coach and have been having success with the running game, you wouldn’t suddenly switch to a passing game in the Super Bowl without a good reason to do so. You may think that you are getting women by being too much of an asshole, or that you are gaming most women sub optimally because you don’t care if you don’t succeed, but the reality is you are succeeding with a particular approach. So use it!

(2)    <strong>How much you like her is strategically irrelevant</strong> – How much you like a girl may impact the way you feel when you see her but it is just about as irrelevant to dating strategy as uniform color is to football strategy. Would you switch to a passing game in the Super Bowl because you like the other teams uniform? Of course not. You would switch to a passing game if they had a strong run defense and weak pass defense. In other words, you would switch your approach based on the traits of your opponent that impact the game. It’s the same with dating. What matters is appearing as an attractive man to your date, not how much you like her. Use information you have about her to adjust your game, not what you feel about her.

(3)    <strong>Do not fear failure</strong> – Most men not only use different techniques on women they like, they almost always come off as more passive and needy than normal. Passivity and neediness are generally considered unattractive traits by most women; yet due to the significant fear of failure because of how much the target is liked, men constantly use techniques that are proven to be ineffective when they care the most! Don’t make this mistake. Fear of failure is devastating when it comes to dating, do not let fear or failure dictate your strategy as it generally only leads to more failure.

I understand all of this is easier said than done. I have been there, and I have embarrassed myself more than my fair share of times doing the exact opposite of the advice above until I finally learned. Don’t embarrass yourself and fail time and time again like I did in the past, learn from my mistakes and follow the three simple tips above to greatly increase your odds with ANY woman, including that special girl you have been dying to get.

If you've enjoyed the articles on, there's even more advice in our e-books!

Buy Now!