Jun 01, 2014 / Challenge Yourself Realistically
It's ok to challenge yourself, but do it in a logical, progressive way.
I have the following conversation with my friends who are not particularly successful with women all the time: Me: "Dude, what are you doing wasting your time hitting on the waitress who is obviously not interested? There are plenty of girls here to talk to." Guy: "Whatever, she is hot and I want to challenge myself." Me: "Challenge? When was the last time you've gotten any girl at this bar? Challenge yourself within reason!" This dynamic is all too common, in particular with men who are not successful with women. Instead of starting small and building up their skills, they believe that if they keep hammering away at the most difficult girls to get (attractive "hired guns", for example) they will eventually just figure it out. But why? Why would anyone think this? Would you think if you barely know algebra that you could learn multivariable calculus by opening a multivariable calculus book to the last page and trying to do the problems there? Of course not! Would you think that the most effective way to get good at basketball is to play LeBron James one on one over and over and over again? Obviously not. Would you think that if you are a 1200 rated chess player, only playing 2700+ rated grandmasters is the optimal way to improve? No way! But, for some reason, so many men believe that dating and seduction is unlike all of those other skills, that somehow, when it comes to dating and seduction, the natural learning process doesn't apply and that you don't need to practice, you don't need to progressively build up your skills, and you can often rely on some epiphany or weird trick to achieve all of your goals with women. You can just hammer away at the "2700 rated girl" and eventually you'll just start getting them. Sorry, doesn't work like that.