September 06, 2013 / Does Peacocking Work?
Does peacocking really work? It depends.
Mystery is perhaps the world’s most famous “pick up artist.” Real name Erik Von Markovik, Mystery is not only the author on one of the first and foremost books on how to seduce women but even took the “PUA” scene mainstream with his VH1 show, “The Pick Up Artist”. The show even had two seasons! Bottom line, maybe you have heard of Mystery, maybe you haven’t, but what is important is that he is widely regarded as an expert in picking up women. He is responsible for many of the “pick up” terminology and short hand regularly used today and is also the man responsible for many of the basic techniques, concepts and theory used by millions to help them seduce women. One such concept is peacocking.
Peacocking is the process of dressing in a very attention grabbing manner, much like how a male peacock, when courting, reveals a vast array of colorful feathers. Mystery is a strong advocate of peacocking and appears to do so himself in not so subtle manner: Already being 6’5”, Mystery wears a strange looking top hat with feathers, paints his nails, and dresses in a variety of highly unusual outfits. It is kind of hard not to notice him anywhere he goes, that is for sure. Being noticed helps getting women, and Mystery sure as hell gets noticed. He also apparently does well with the ladies.
However, does “heavy” peacocking make sense for you and I, just because it seems to work well for Mystery? I argue it is not necessarily the right approach. Peacocking is a valuable tool to have but it is not a requirement to be successful with women. For some men, like Mystery, peacocking works well. Mystery is a tall person which already makes him quite noticeable. Peacocking makes him “noticeable on steroids”. He then parlays this “notice-ability” into building himself up as a larger than life character.
Peacocking plays to Mystery’s strength, but not all of us are big and/or tall guys who can portray ourselves as larger than life people by our appearance alone and then back it up with social skills and experience entertaining groups. We have to play to our strengths, and peacocking may not be playing to our strengths. Hell, peacocking may even be augmenting our weaknesses!
Consider being a shy guy. Peacocking will certainly make the shy guy more noticeable, but what value will that create? If you are shy you do not want to have to deal with an unusual amount of attention. If you peacock extensively, you run into the risk of having to entertain more groups, and all sorts of other scenarios that simply do not fit with the strengths of a shy guy. Peacocking can back fire for that reason. Now, shy isn’t great in general for picking up women; however, shy men can still be highly successful, but peacocking is highly unlikely to be the way to do it!
As I mentioned earlier, peacocking is only a tool. Use the tool when it makes sense to: if you are trying to build a larger than life persona, if you are extremely comfortable entertaining groups, and if you can handle being teased, made fun of, and harassed due to unusual dress. Not all of us have these strengths; many of us are still developing them and so for us, peacocking like Mystery makes little sense.
However, don’t take this to mean that I suggest trying to blend into the walls wherever you go. I am an advocate of subtle hints of “peacocking” for most people. Perhaps that sounds like an oxymoron, but consider the following: an interesting ring, a nice watch, a shirt that is slightly unusual, or perhaps a colorful pair of shoes. All are forms of subtle peacocking. They are nothing like the Mystery peacocking, or the peacocking of an actual peacock, but they do increase notice-ability, without many of the side effects of full blown peacocking. Consider this subtle form of “peacocking” as an in between approach unless you have what it takes to benefit from “full blow peacocking.”