May 08, 2014 / Don't Ask Girls To Buy You Drinks
It's common advice to get the girl to buy you a drink. It's also completely asinine advice.
One piece of moronic advice which proliferates the dating and seduction universe is the idea that instead of buying a girl a drink, you should ask her to buy you one. While a girl getting the next round is something that happens from time to time (usually with girls who are friends, part of a mutual group, or someone you have been dating for a bit), strategically trying to get a girl you are just meeting for the first time to buy you a drink is idiotic. Stop doing it.
Different doesn't get girlsSure, a guy hitting on a girl and then trying to get her to buy you a drink is "different," but so is going up to a girl and offering to bathe her in buffalo wing sauce. So what? Different doesn't get girls, demonstrating value gets girls. I will write about this in more detail at a later date, but the whole concept that "asking her to buy you a drink will set you apart" is going to improve your chances is missing this crucial point: different doesn't get girls, value does. Often, you can be different in a way that demonstrates value, but trying to get a girl you just met to buy you a drink is not one of those ways!
What are you really communicating?Have you ever wondered what actual value you are demonstrating when trying to "con" a girl into buying you a drink? Think you are demonstrating that you are so special and high value girls should be buying you a drink because "you are the prize?" No. You just met; you are not yet the prize unless you got indications that she thinks you are at that stage (in which case you should move to the next phases of seduction, not worry about getting a drink out of her). What you are is most likely in the attraction building phase, and the convoluted third-order indirect logic that leads from "why is this guy trying to get me to buy his drink?" to "wow, this guy is so high value I need to buy a drink just to be around him" is exactly that: convoluted third-order nonsense. The most likely conclusion that most women will draw when you guys head to the bar together and you try to get her to pay is that you are either:
- a cheap bastard
- a poor bastard
- both a cheap and a poor bastard