January 20, 2014 / Don’t Take Unnecessary Risks
Here are 5 examples of unnecessary risk taking in dating.
Recently, I wrote an article about risk reward. Risk reward is extremely important in most facets of life, including dating. I want to expand on this topic by emphasizing a very important point when it comes to dating, and in particular, seduction: "don’t leave it to chance". A lot of dating techniques can and do work in certain situations, but often times, men take too many unnecessary risks and gambles. Stop gambling and start doing what works.
Leaving Your Place With Her
About 6 years ago, a friend of mine who is now a very well known member of the "seduction community" described his typical date at the time. It involved something along the lines of meeting up with the woman near his apartment. Inviting her up to cook for her, and then leave to go out for a night cap. Now mind you, this guy has serious game, so it’s not like this dating technique wasn’t working for him, but I had to stop him anyway.
"Wait? You have her at your place and then you LEAVE??" I asked. He thought for a moment, and realized that he had no good way to answer this question. What my friend was doing here was taking a completely unnecessary risk of leaving his apartment once he already had the girl there! Needless to say, he doesn’t do this anymore, but it just shows you that even some of the best take unnecessary risks.
Over the top dates
I’ve written time and time again (here, and here, for example) about how the key to a successful date idea is the logistics around it, not the date itself. Yet so many men take unnecessary risks planning extravagant dates that are logistically terrible. Save skydiving for your buddies or your girlfriend. Don’t go over the top on a date when you run into all sorts of risks that range from the activity not being as fun for her as for you, bad logistics, too much effort (on both parts) and so forth. Stick to dates at night close to a "sex location".
Bringing Her To "Da Club"
One bad dating strategy that is repeated over and over by many men is going to a night club with a date. Ever heard of the expression "don’t bring sand to the beach"? Well, it applies here, but it’s even worse than that: bringing a girl you are into to a club is more akin to trying to keep a juicy steak away from a pack of wolves. Maybe you can devour it fast enough, but often, you’ll have a bunch of rabid dogs trying to eat your steak. Seriously guys, why would you bring a girl you are interested in to a place where at least half the clientele are there trying to pick up girls (including yours!)?
Telling her you want to fuck her
Now I don’t mean in the situation where you are with your girlfriend or already in bed with a girl, I mean, like, within the first five minutes of talking to her. Perhaps guys do this because they read the stupid (and fake) articles/posts about average looking guys asking girls if they want to come over and have sex and actually getting laid 10% of the time from that. (I’ll have more on this in another article, but trust me, it’s complete utter bullshit). Whatever the reason, it is a totally unnecessary risk. Why? Because if a girl would say yes to that, she would say yes if you asked in a much more benign way that will also make many other girls say yes as well!
Making her pay
If you are on a first date pay the bill. I will have more on this topic but the bottom line is that not paying the bill is an extremely high risk/low reward proposition. In my article about isolating money from effectiveness, I wrote about how most of the rationale for not paying is simply rationalization from people who try to justify behavior that is actually simply designed to save money, not improve odds with women.
The 5 examples above are just a small subset of the situations where men commonly take unnecessary risk. Stop doing it!