April 26, 2014 / Ending Text Conversations
Sometimes, ending a text conversation is more effective than continuing it.
Have you ever been stuck in a text conversation with a potential date that you really just want to end but she doesn’t give you the opportunity? Or perhaps she wants the conversation to end but you simply can’t tell and are accidentally digging yourself a hole by being that annoying guy who won’t stop texting. Either way, knowing when and how to end a texting conversation is actually an underrated skill that you should have in your dating arsenal. Here is how I do it.
Don’t fear abruptness
Sometimes, a smooth transition into a conversation ending, especially on text which is inherently "jerky" is difficult. That isn’t necessarily a problem. You don’t have to segue into a smooth end to a text conversation. This is probably the number one most important principle of ending text conversations: the ending does not have to be smooth.
Say you have to do something
My standard go-to to end a conversation over text is to simply text something like: "Hey, I’ve gotta run, let’s chat soon [or, if you planned a date: I’ll see you on XYZ]!" The details of what you have to do are not always necessarily, and it’s ok to use this technique even if you actually have nothing to do but just don’t want to keep texting.
You can also inject a potential DHV into the text conversation as the reason you have to run: anything from a simple ‘heading to the gym’ to a cooler: ‘rehearsing with my rock band in a bit’, or ‘on vacation in Prague right now’ can help boost your value a little. Even the mere fact that you are "too busy" to have long protracted text message conversations is a plus: women like men who have things going on in their lives.
If you haven’t gotten to asking her out yet, do it!
Not sure what the point of your conversation was if it wasn’t to get a date, but if you haven’t asked her out yet, make some plans as your closing. Try "Hey, so I gotta run, but let’s get together sometime. How’s XYZ on Thursday at 8pm?" All the details in one text. Don’t leave anything to chance if you don’t have to when asking women out. I wrote about how I ask women out in more detail here.
Be the one to end it
It won’t always happen, but in general, try to be the one to end text message conversations, especially if they are becoming long. (I prefer to end them much before that happens.) While it may seem like you are having a good time and you are impressing her with your humor and wit, you are still sending subtle signs of neediness if you just won’t stop texting! She won’t tell you that, and she won’t even make it apparent that you are doing so (note, she won’t always think this) but believe me, there are plenty of times when women act courteous and even entertained when what they are really thinking is: "Will this guy shut up already!"
Don’t risk being that guy who won’t shut up over text. The benefits of back and forth cocky funny and witty conversation is unlikely to convey much if any advantages over being the guy who has a lot going on in his life so he doesn’t have time to shoot the shit all day long. Save your game for when you meet her in person.