February 03, 2014 / Escalation Before Analysis
Escalate before trying to read a woman's interest in you.
I had written an article a little while ago about how the solution to mixed signals is escalation. I wanted to elaborate on this point further as it pertains to over analysis of every little interaction you have with women. Analysis is ok, but it needs to be in the proper context, and that usually means you need to escalate first before you analyze.
Women are hard to read
No matter how many women you have dated, slept with, or been in long term relationships with, you will encounter a substantial number of women who give off signals which are hard to read. What for one woman is an indicator of interest for another woman can just be a cry for attention and for a third can actually be an indicator of disinterest. There are "rules" so to speak, but women are too individual to be able to very accurately analyze their every action with very high precision.
A lot of details don’t mean anything
One major reason that women are hard to read is that many of their actions seem like they mean something but actually don’t mean a thing. 10 minutes or an hour between a response to your text? Most likely meaningless. A huge with a peck on the cheek or a hug without one? Probably meaningless. Her not texting you for a day when she normally texts you every day? Unlikely to mean much as an isolated incident.
This the reality of "minor" actions from women. Women are subtle, but they are often not that subtle. Trying to analyze every little behavior will likely lead you to over-analyze meaningless actions which is really no more effective than just guessing whether she likes you or not and playing it that way.
Failure to escalate makes it easier for her to send mixed signals
As I wrote about in the mixed signals article, if you fail to escalate, you make it much easier for her to send you mixed signals to analyze. Failing to escalate and then trying to analyze what a woman thinks about you is kind of like asking a woman what her favorite color is and using that to find out if she is into you. If you want to know if someone is into you, you have to motivate them to let you know!
The best way to do that is to escalate and see how she responds. It’s easy to find out if a girl is into you when you ask her out. It’s easy to find out when you put your arm around her waist and see how she reacts. It’s hard when you don’t give her an opportunity to respond to an advance.
Analysis is important, but in the context of escalation
Don’t get me wrong, analyzing women’s behavior is important, but usually in the context of clear escalation. You want to see her reaction to your escalation so that you can calibrate your actions appropriately. For example, if you touch her and she withdraws, you need to build more attraction and play "harder to get", so withdraw yourself and "DHV". If you talk about continuing the evening elsewhere and she is receptive, she wants to hang out with you more. All of these are forms of analysis, but they are in the context of unabashed escalation. Bottom line, escalate before analysis.