March 30, 2014 / Experiment With Philosophies
Don't just blindly assume one dating philosophy is right and the rest are wrong.
I have my views on dating and courtship. They have served myself and others well, and I believe they will continue to serve myself and others well. My partner here, Trent Van James has his views. They have served him and others well, and will continue to do so. Famous seduction experts and dating coaches such as "Mystery", Mark Manson, and others have their philosophies that have worked for many and will continue to do so. With that said, not every system is perfect for everyone, and for some men, a combination of philosophies may be the best approach.
One way isn’t the only way
Unlike mathematics, where there is usually a right or wrong answer, in dating, two pieces of advice can be completely contrary to one another but still be "correct" advice. This is because so much of dating depends on individual circumstances, individual qualities, and individual people. Also, many times, the individuals involved may not be rational which leads to even more uncertainty the potential outcome on application of certain advice.
What this means is that while every expert (myself included) thinks they are "right" and that their advice is "good", it isn’t always the case. I’ll be the first to admit that, but myself, TVJ, Mystery, Mark Manson, and other "experts" all already know this. It is ironically, the guys who are NOT the experts, the guys who are seeking advice, that struggle to grasp this concept. The end result is often a large amount of robotic context-less implementation of seduction theory from one particular expert accompanied by an ample dose of "head meets wall" frustration.
Expand your horizons and adapt to reality
The solution to this frustration is to expand your horizons and adapt to reality. Don’t just mindlessly apply the philosophy and advice of one particular expert on a topic (even if it’s me!). Apply, assess the situation, and if it didn’t work as expected, look for other potential approaches and solutions. Expand your horizons. Don’t just do it the "Josh Sway" way, or the "Mystery" way, or the "Mark Manson" way. Try all three, or more, or a combination of the three, or whatever you think will give you the desired result. Make not of what happened that was not expected when you tried a particular technique and think about how to adapt the technique for what happened. Don’t be afraid to discount advice if you try, try, and try again and it still doesn’t work.
Give Things A Chance
One caveat to my experimentation advice is to make sure you are actually applying the techniques, philosophies, and theories properly and giving them a chance before you dub yourself an expert in seduction alchemy. For example, in Sway Seduction, I generally recommend getting her number and then a date very quickly. Don’t be so quick to write it off because you tried it one time and it didn’t end up in you getting laid the next day. Likewise, if Mystery says wait at most three seconds before approaching a woman, don’t just give up on that approach because you tried it once and wasn’t sure what to say.
But, if you gave strategies a chance, and they didn’t work for you, don’t always assume you are to blame; it’s worth trying some other approaches.