October 13, 2014 / Focus on Successful Dates, Not Response Rates
High response rate openers are the click-bait of online dating.
Those of you who have read my online dating system material (Sway Seduction) know that I advocate a strong profile as the starting point of successful online dating. I have found that a strong profile is by far the best tool at your disposal for being successful in online dating: far more than having a great "opener" or "first message". (Don’t worry, I cover messaging and dating in my system as well).
However, despite how often I pound the table about this point, many men simply refuse to believe that any part of their profile other than their pictures matter (not true, read my newsletter about this) and instead of focusing on a good profile, they keep trying to find the "holy grail" of online openers. This is the wrong approach. The right approach is to find the "holy grail" of profiles (which I believe I have found, see these screenshots).
Anyways, I went on a little tangent there, because I want to make sure that you take the following advice in the right context: the context of profile first, messaging second. Now on to the point I want to make in this article: the goal of online dating is to go on successful dates, not to get a high response rate to your messages.
High response openers are the "click-bait’ of online dating
You may not know the term "click-bait" but you definitely know what it is. Log on to facebook recently? See a link to a video where "You Just Won’t Believe What Happened Next", or maybe you see a link with an image and a caption along the lines of: "This looks like a picture of an ordinary woman, but you won’t believe what it actually is…" The headlines make you want to click, only for you to discover that you got baited into following a link to a website that is completely uninteresting at best, and spam at worst.
That link you clicked is known as "click-bait". And high response rate online openers such as: "You should probably remove that picture…" are the "click-bait" of online dating: they get responses in annoying and misleading ways which only leave a bad taste in the responders mouth. Yet, unlike running a click-bait campaign where you make money per click, when it comes to online dating, you "make money" from successful dates, not responses to a bait-y message.
But can’t I turn the responses into more?
The common argument to the click-bait point is that "it’s still an opening". This is not a strong case for the use of "click-bait" openers. The reason is, similar to click-bait advertisements, you are likely going to piss off your clientele, in this case, the girl. So not only will you waste your time engaging girls who are not interested, you also risk coming off as annoying to a girl who would have otherwise been interested. As you can see, the cost is two-fold: wasting time on hopeless prospects, and turning off potentially good prospects. This is the more common result of click-bait openers, with the outcome of: I got her to go out with me when she would otherwise have not written me back being the least likely outcome.
Focus on getting dates, not responses
The bottom line is, focus on getting dates, not just responses. Don’t rely on trickery to elicit a response from a woman who isn’t interested and isn’t going to suddenly become interested. All it will do is waste your time and hers.