May 05, 2014 / Go Hit On That Girl!
There are reasons being pushed to hit on a random girl doesn't work well.
Ever wonder why your success rate is low when being goaded by friends to hit on some arbitrary woman? I have noticed this phenomenon not just with myself, but with friends of mine as well. Even some of my friends who are well known pick up artists, instructors, and authors struggle when prompted to "go hit on that girl". The other day I got to thinking a bit more about this and determined that it isn’t a mystery; there are reasons why "go hit on that girl" usually ends up in a rejection. Here are a few of them.
The prompter hasn’t paid attention
Most likely, in this situation where a friend (especially when it is girls) goads you to go approach a girl, they haven’t been paying attention to many if any of the details surrounding the girl. They didn’t notice that she is there with a guy who is probably a boyfriend, or is clearly busy talking on her phone or frantically trying to get a friends attention somewhere. Maybe they notice but don’t care.
Furthermore, it is likely you haven’t been paying attention to these details as well, which pretty much reduces the tools at your disposal to a very generic cold approach; one of the least successful type of approaches. The best approaches are usually ones where you actually have something to say or offer a woman. It’s easier to offer something when you have at least a little background information.
You already know there is no interest
Sometimes, an approach is futile because you have already established via eye contact or other means that there is unlikely to be any interest. A good "pick up artist" is always scoping the room, making eye contact with women, and paying attention. When I haven’t approached a woman who I am attracted to it’s either because the timing and logistics make no sense for an approach or because I have already made eye contact or subtlety expressed interest and did not receive reciprocal interest. Someone prompting you to randomly approach one of these women doesn’t have this background information.
They make it awkward
Sometimes not only will friends push you to approach, they will push you in very blatant ways that make it extremely obvious to the woman in question you are being pushed to approach her. While a nice way to overcome approach anxiety, the end result is usually a crash and burn because well, it’s just awkward to be pushed to approach a girl!
Details matter and approaches don’t live in a bubble
At the end of the day, the real issue with being pushed to approach an arbitrary girl is that details matter and every individual approach is not it’s own entity or bubble. A successful approach is often successful because you already know that the girl is likely single (or at least not with a man at the venue) and often seems open to conversation. Approaches are successful when you’ve made eye contact and can tell there is a likelihood of interest or at least a receptiveness to it.
Furthermore, situational openers are often the most successful. But a situational opener requires usage of some background info, some thought, the venue, the interactions going on in the venue, and more. When you are blindly forced to approach a woman you haven’t paid attention to, you are restricted to less effective methods.