Josh covered some basics with game on the dance floor
in an earlier article, and his last point was to "avoid dancing like an idiot." But I've noticed what holds most guys back on the dance floor is the fear of dancing like an idiot
, so I thought it was worth expanding on this point.
If you feel self-conscious about approaching women, you probably feel self-conscious about dancing. If you feel this way, then you will be tremendously limited in your ability to approach women until you overcome this fear. Women like to dance, and they like going out to places where they can dance. When it comes to approaching women, a dance club is one of the most target-rich environments. Dancing allows you to get physical and intimate with a woman, which enables escalation. If dancing is a problem with you, then you need to solve the problem.
Fortunately, this is easier than you may think. If you’re worried about looking stupid on the dance floor, there are only two
key things you need to do:
1. Keep a Beat with a Basic Step
It can be very
basic. See below for a clip from the movie “Hitch.”
Will Smith is basically just shuffling from one foot to the other and moving his shoulders with the beat. That’s it. Just do that. This won’t make you look like a ‘good dancer,’ but it will make you avoid looking stupid.
2. Look Like You're Having Fun
In the movie, the woman Kevin James pursues actually finds his absurd dancing charming and attractive. This is because Kevin James is having fun
. When he does the basic shuffle step, he’s biting his lip and looking awkward. When he breaks out into his ridiculous dance moves, he’s having fun and looking confident.
And that's it. Keep a basic step and look like you're having fun.
Simple enough, right?
Er, Wait A Second...
If you watched the clip in its entirety, these two rules may look like contradictory advice. I’ve just told you to keep a basic dance step, but I also lauded Kevin James’ character for doing pretty much everything but
keeping a basic dance step.
So let’s clarify: if you’re totally intimidated by dancing, then you’ll do fine just starting with a basic dance step a la Will Smith. Do that. Smile. Remember to smile.
You’ll only look awkward dancing if you feel awkward, but no one can tell you’re feeling awkward if you’re smiling.
You can even practice in front of a mirror. Play some music, and look at yourself when you’re smiling and not smiling. I bet when you smile, your literally find yourself stepping with a little more swagger, moving your shoulders with a little more confidence and rhythm. Now throw in a Michael Jackson spin move. Keep smiling. Boom. It’s that easy. You may feel like an idiot, but you'll look like you're feeling like you're having fun, and that's all that matters.
Once you get comfortable enough dancing in public, then you can get more creative. For some guys that are initially intimidated by dancing, they realize within the first couple songs that dancing at a club isn’t so bad. For others, it takes them longer. You’ll know you’re comfortable when you don’t need to remind yourself to smile.
At that point if you want to bust out some dance moves from Kevin James’ arsenal (well, maybe not the “starting the fire” or “tossing the pizza dough,”) knock yourself out.
It's Really That Simple
Remember: you’re not starring on a network TV talent show where you’re at risk for getting yelled at by some guy with British accent and getting kicked off the stage. You don’t have to know the lyrics or the DJs. You don't even have to like the music! All you have to do is keep a beat and look like you’re enjoying yourself, and the woman you’re with will think you’re fun, confident, and sexy.