November 07, 2013 / How To Be The Guy People Listen To
Learn how to be the guy that everyone is listening to.
In a recent article, 9 Ways To Get Women To Approach You, I mentioned being the guy everyone listens to. I was asked, correctly, how to be that guy. Becoming that most interesting man in the world (thanks Dos Equis!) takes years of practice, but I am going to put you on the right track in this article.
Keep up with current events
One easy way to be listened to is to have information at your finger tips. Read the news, keep up with current events, keep up with random obscure stories going on (as opposed to just headline news), heck, even have a clue what is going on in the celebrity world. Current events are going to be topics of conversation with very high probability, so make sure you can participate and eventually lead in conversations of those matters.
Learn about your audience
Who do you normally talk to? Who do you want to talk to? Don’t just spend your time reading about what interests you; try to learn about what interests other people as well. Even if you think you aren’t interested in a topic; getting involved in something others are into can actually make the topic more interesting! I had never been into football, but when my friends got me doing fantasy football I not only learned something new, I got a lot of fun, conversation topics, and more out of it!
Some of the best stories involve remembering an unusual thing. If you are observant, while walking down the street, hanging out at a bar, or what not, you are likely to notice unusual things which can captivate an audience for at least a short period of time. For example, I was walking through the train station the other day and a man was surrounded by people and cameras proposing to his girlfriend. It looked like a scene out of the movies except the couple were two fat nerdy looking people which made it quite amusing, and a funny story to tell!
Another example might be funny signs homeless people are holding on the street. Or perhaps, an unusual billboard ad. Maybe the random Dannon employees who were handing out free yogurt around Grand Central Station. Really, anything that stands out as even remotely unusual makes for a conversation starter and will get people to listen to you. The more little anecdotes you have, the better!
Do Interesting Things
Travel more, try new things more, pick up hobbies (check out our hobby cheat sheet), etc. The more things you DO, the more you will have to talk about. There is virtually a 100% correlation between being interesting and doing a lot of things. If you are interesting, and do interesting things, people will want to listen to you talk about those things.
How to build the crowd
Now that I have given you some ideas on how to build a base of material to talk about, I want to cover how to actually get people to listen to you! This is often the biggest challenge for most men. Here are 5 ways to get started:
1. Talk loudly and in an animated fashion
Don’t go completely overboard, but be sure to project your voice and talk with confidence. Believe that what you are going to say is interesting, funny, and that people should want to listen to it. Get their attention by talking on the loud side and be animated.
2. Motion to your audience
I like to engage people by motioning to them and saying something along the lines of: "Hey, get this story", or "Did you hear about…?". This literally builds an audience directly.
3. Position yourself where you can be heard by more people
Think strategically in terms of where you sit at dinner, where you stand at a bar, etc. Position yourself in a location where people can over hear you and where people can easily chime in and/or eavesdrop on your (hopefully interesting) conversation.
4. Don’t be afraid to change the subject
If the current conversation or topic looks to be boring people (whether or not you are talking about it or someone else) don’t feel the need to smoothly transition to something else. Don’t completely just cut people off and do a 180, but don’t feel the need to slowly easy the conversation to what you want to talk about.
5. Engage employees
Engaging employees is a great way to build a bigger audience. Simply ask the bartenders opinion on whatever you are discussing or ask if they heard about the story you are going to tell. That’s one easy person to add to your crowd who will more or less "have to" talk to you at least a little bit given it’s their job.
All of these tips will take practice to master, but you can start putting them in action today, and I suggest doing so, because being the center of attention for good reasons is not only a turn on for women but a great pathway to success in other areas of life.