Jan 16, 2015 / How to Improve as a Social Producer
Ways you can bring social entertainment and value to everyone you know.
In a previous article, I talked about what it meant to be a social producer and social consumer. To quickly recap, the key question about whether you're good at being a social producer, is this: "If I didn't show up, would people have less fun?" This question isn't intended to make you anxious or self-conscious. But it's to get you thinking about how you can "bring more to the table," socially. I know a lot of readers of JoshSway.com consider themselves introverts, and despair they'll never be the "life of the party." But you can dramatically improve as a social producer among your friends and with girls before you actually see them. This article isn't about how to be "the life of the party," because most social production happens before any socializing actually happens! So let's jump in and discuss some ways you can improve as a social producer, and ultimately develop a much richer friendship and dating life.
Plan and OrganizeMy introduction in the previous article was a classic example for this. Or to refer to Josh's earlier article about The Fun and The Bank, this is essentially acting as "The Bank." Seek out ways you can play a greater role in organizing and managing your social activities. When you hang out with your friends, do you just wait for them to contact you? Do you find yourself saying, "I'm cool with whatever" a lot? In whatever activities you're involved with, are you only doing them because your friends did? If so, stop. This means you're mostly a social consumer when it comes to your friendships. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it means your social life is completely at the whim of your friends. Don't like the movie they're going to see, or the restaurant they want to eat at? Too bad, because you weren't involved in planning it, or even gave an opinion on planning it. Why put yourself in that position? You can start small. When asked for an opinion, state your opinion and then offer to contribute. For example, "Dinner sounds good, how about Mexican? I'll see if Matt can come, and then make the reservation." And then take it a step further. "Let's meet at my place, and then we'll all head out together." As you get more comfortable, you should find yourself more confident to plan more things. You'll be comfortable throwing a party or organizing a team for a sports league. Eventually, your friends see you as a source of entertainment and fun. They'll ask you things like, "hey man, when's the next season start in our intramural soccer league?" or "dude, when are you going to throw another one of those parties?"
Invest Complementary ResourcesEven if you're not organizing or planning a social event, doesn't mean you still can't contribute. Some easy examples are:
- If you're invited to watch a sports game, bring food or beverages.
- If you're drinking with friends before you go out, bring some small speakers and set up Pandora or Spotify on your phone.
- If you're invited to a party, bring any single female friends.
- If someone is planning something that requires everyone to pool money, offer to front the money and have everyone pay you back.
- If you're going out with friends near where you live, offer to have people crash at your place.