Josh Sway is every man's source for dating, relationships, self-improvement, and more.

Articles advice from Josh

/ How to Learn from Women

It's what women do, not what women say.

It would make sense that a woman can help us get better with women. After all, women should know what they want, what turns them on, what turns them off, etc. Why is it then, that every time you or I have tried to follow a woman’s so called “dating advice” or doing what our female friends tell us to do in a dating situation we have failed miserably? Why is it that a woman tells us one thing but does the complete opposite? Could women really be that clueless when it comes to dating their peers? How is it that a woman, being a woman herself, can give such terrible dating advice or general information about women?  The truth is they are actually great sources of advice; it is us, men, who are simply asking the wrong questions!

I stumbled upon this realization by accident. I was having a conversation about dating with a few female friends of mine, and the topic of the one night stand came up. Women all have different definitions of the one night stand, but to me, a one night stand is sex on the first meeting (first date, pick up at a bar, etc.), and what happens afterwards is irrelevant. As you will see, the definition of a one night stand doesn’t really matter here. One of my friends in the group, when I asked her if she would ever have a one night stand was adamant that she would not. “I am not that kind of girl and would never do that” Those were more or less her exact words. And it wasn’t the first time I’ve heard that. Actually, almost EVERY woman I ask about one night stands insists that she does not have them and would not do them.

BUT I KNOW THIS IS WRONG. I’ve slept with dozens and dozens of women on the first date; I would say almost half the women I have ever slept with it has been on the first date or first meeting. I’ve even had women who told me they would never sleep with a guy on the first date ON our first date only to then SLEEP WITH ME! Is it really possible that the countless women I have slept with on the first date were all a fluke? No it is not. That would be statistically IMPOSSIBLE. I found out what was going on then and there. I was getting terrible dating advice from women because I was asking them the wrong questions.

Flash forward to a short time later, during the very same outing, and I decided to pop the question in a different manner: “Btw, HAVE you ever had a one night stand?” Her answer was: “No! W<i>ell actually</i>, there was this one time but it was a long time ago…” What a difference one word makes. It all clicked. If I really wanted to learn about women from women, I had to ask them not what they WOULD do, but what DID they do.

With that one simple realization, that I had to ask women what they DO or HAVE DONE as opposed to what they WOULD DO or what they SHOULD DO, I began to unlock countless mysteries about women. You can also unlock these mysteries through your female friends as well; just be sure to ask them the right questions. Ask them what they DO, not what they WOULD DO or SHOULD DO and you will have access to a treasure trove of information unavailable anywhere else but the mind of a woman.

If you've enjoyed the articles on, there's even more advice in our e-books!

Buy Now!