Josh Sway
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/ If She Says She Has A Boyfriend, Move On

While it is possible to get girls with a boyfriend, in general, the best strategy is to move on.


I’m going to let you in on a secret: all the expert advice you read out there about seduction that tells you it doesn’t matter if a girl says she has a boyfriend, and all those "boyfriend destroyers" and the like, are A LOAD OF SHIT. Yes, that’s right, a LOAD OF SHIT, in caps. I’m going to tell you the truth about girls who say they have a boyfriend: they are not interested in you. You are fighting a majorly uphill battle in the vast majority of situations where this is the case. Really? Can all the other experts be so wrong? The answer is yes, but first, let me highlight an important detail: girl having a boyfriend, versus girl saying she has a boyfriend.

Having a boyfriend versus saying she has a boyfriend

Notice that in the introduction to this article I consistently refer to girls who SAY they have a boyfriend. This distinction is on purpose: what a woman says about a boyfriend is almost more important than his actual existence. If a woman tells you she has a boyfriend, she may (a) actually have a boyfriend, or (b) not have one but want you to think she has one so you will stop hitting on her (a significant indicator of disinterest). If a woman has a boyfriend but doesn’t mention him, she either (a) wants to keep talking to you even though you are hitting on her or (b) is willing to cheat on him and doesn’t want to risk you leaving her alone when you bring him up.

That’s right, it is more likely that you will succeed with a girl who has a boyfriend but never mentions him versus a girl who doesn’t have a boyfriend but mentions having one. This is why I have made the semantic distinction between women who say they have boyfriends and those who have boyfriends. In practice though, the scenario where a girl says she has a boyfriend is most applicable (if she doesn’t bring him up, how would you even know/why even bother to find out/ask?)

Anyways, back to why seduction experts tell you it doesn’t matter: marketing!

Boyfriend destroyers are marketing gimmicks

How can it make sense that so many seduction experts contend that a girl saying she has a boyfriend should hardly matter to you when I am so adamant that this is nonsense? The reason is marketing. Getting a girl (who says she has)/with a boyfriend is in extremely high demand. So many men are lured into the "seduction community", buy books, and hire dating and "PUA" coaches in order to get that girl they want who happens to have a boyfriend. This is the main reason that seduction experts like to tell you that getting a girl with (or says she has) a boyfriend is as easy as getting any woman.

In order to back up this preposterous claim, the dating community has developed a whole set of "techniques" and "routines" known as "boyfriend destroyers" (straw man / etc.) which claim to insert seeds of doubt into her mind about her relationship and her boyfriend. Unfortunately, most of these techniques are nothing more than marketing gimmicks in disguise and actually have very little success in practice.

So you can never get a girl who says she has a boyfriend?

With all of that said, as with everything in dating, nothing is absolute. You can most certainly seduce women who have a boyfriend, including those who say they have a boyfriend. The problem is, the odds are very low and usually success involves women that you see on a regular basis and that are very attracted to you (co-workers / social circle friends / etc.). That girl you see around campus that you have said two words to, those words being "pardon me" while you squeezed by her to get your drink at the bar is NOT that girl that these techniques have any shot of working on.

Unfortunately, that is one of the two most common situations where a boyfriend destroyer comes up. The second situation being at a bar when you randomly approach a woman and to get rid of you she tells you she has a boyfriend. Yes, in that situation, what she is saying is that she is not attracted enough to you to be romantically or sexually interested. What does this mean? It means that a "boyfriend destroyer" is completely irrelevant as the problem is her attraction to you, not the existence of her boyfriend (though often her attraction is lowered because she has a boyfriend).

Getting out of the hole

In general, if she says she has a boyfriend, you are starting in a major hole and need to build a huge amount of attraction to get out of it. In general, I find this to be a complete waste of time, especially if you just approached a random girl at the bar. Just move on to someone else who doesn’t give you a huge hurdle to climb right off the bat. However, if you insist on continuing to "game" her, the method of going about it is simple: ignore any mention of the boyfriend. That’s right, don’t use a boyfriend destroyer, don’t use any routines involving her boyfriend at all, focus ONLY on making her more and more attracted to you. Don’t get me wrong, your odds are quite low, but if you are going to try, at least try the "right way".

In conclusion: If she says she has a boyfriend, move on

Look. You can keep reading about boyfriend destroyers and find guys to refute me if it makes you feel any better, but the reality is you are generally wasting your time going after women who say they have a boyfriend. If you insist, simply ignore that they have a boyfriend and keep hitting on them, but if you want to maximize your odds with women, and maximize your success with women, going for those who don’t say they have boyfriends is by far the best method.





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