Josh Sway
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/ If You Insist On The Girl With A Boyfriend

Learn about the only actual boyfriend destroyer here.


In general, TVJ and I recommend that if a girl says she has a boyfriend, you move on. Contrary to what many seduction experts like you to believe, girls who say they have a boyfriend are generally not interested in you which, naturally, makes it much more difficult to get them. In other words, no, this is not a shit test, it’s an indicator of disinterest. However, many guys refuse to believe this and continue to pound their head against the wall trying to get this girl who has demonstrated no interest or has a boyfriend. This article is for you stubborn folk: I’m going to show you how to get the girl with a boyfriend; well, actually, how to take your chances from 0% to above 0%.

Boyfriend Destroyers are crap

The boyfriend destroyer is a seduction marketing gimmick. All these techniques like the "straw man" etc. are, for the most part, nonsense. If a woman is happy with her boyfriend, you aren’t going to be able to manipulate her into suddenly thinking her boyfriend isn’t good enough for her by talking him up and acting like you can see the glow in her eyes when she talks about him (straw man). You also won’t succeed by bad mouthing her boyfriend or by trying to talk up how much better you are. Pretty much, anything that attempts to highlight anything about her boyfriend is likely going to be ineffective. This leads to the best boyfriend destroyer: ignorance.

The best boyfriend destroyer is to ignore the boyfriend

Ignoring the boyfriend and conversation about him is by far the best boyfriend destroyer there is. I would almost argue it is the only boyfriend destroyer out there. Simply ignore him. A lot of guys recommend this as the first step, but then proceed to tell you to start using ridiculous boyfriend destroyers if she keeps bringing him up. Don’t be tempted to do this. Try your best to continue to ignore him and change the subject. Sometimes, you don’t have much of a choice but to engage in a small conversation about him, but still, your goal should be to move to another topic. Answer as many questions as possible regarding the relationship with words like "Yes", "Maybe", "Not Sure", "Seems ok", and the like.

What to do after you ignore the boyfriend

Once you have resisted getting into a conversation about her boyfriend, assuming that you are still in the game (or at least still talking to her), you need to figure out how to escalate things. Some traditional approaches of escalating aggressively can get you rejected very quickly if she clearly mentioned a boyfriend. The approach you want to use is more subtle, unless you are getting very strong indicators of interest. Use body positioning and a lot of incidental kino as opposed to aggressive escalation and deliberate action. Also, lay off direct verbal indicators of interest. Focus more on DHV’ing yourself and making her comfortable.

Why does this work? Since she has a boyfriend, you need to display a lot of value to overcome that, but truly, the main reason the less aggressive approach (initially) works is comfort. Unless you generate a crazy amount of attraction off the bat (in which case a boyfriend would almost never be mentioned, even if she had one), you need to fight a battle you can win more easily than the attraction battle, and that battle is comfort. Furthermore, you can sneakily build attraction this way, because let’s face it, being comfortable around someone is also attractive. Lastly, you will need her to be very comfortable with you if she is going to cheat on her boyfriend or leave her boyfriend for you.

Your odds are still low

Even though I believe the strategy of ignoring the boyfriend and then focusing on comfort is the best way to get a girl with a boyfriend, your odds are still low. The best approach remains going after girls who don’t say they have a boyfriend in the first place.





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