September 10, 2014 / Inner Game Is Not Your Problem
You don't need inner game to get women.
All too often I hear guys whining about how they "aren’t confident enough in themselves", "aren’t satisfied with themselves", "feel such a low self worth" or "have a major insecurity about XYZ". When it comes to dating, these feelings are generally lumped into the vague but encompassing term "inner game issues". Men who struggle with personal insecurities and low feelings of self worth often believe that their salvation lies in improving this "inner game", that they will never feel good about themselves without it, and that they sure as shit will never get a girl while they feel this way.
Overcoming insecurities is important, as is developing confidence, but it is a complete and utter myth that only men who are confident and lack insecurities get women. The truth is, while you should absolutely work to overcome your "inner game" issues, it is hardly a prerequisite to seducing women, and most likely, you are simply using your inner game failings as an excuse to not even try.
Many insecure men are successful with women
How do I know that inner game isn’t necessary to get women? It’s obvious. It’s obvious because, well: so many men with poor inner game get women!
Consider famous celebrities with well documented insecurities, mental issues, and personal shortcomings. Do you think they aren’t getting laid? Do you really think that guys like Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, and Jim Morrison weren’t getting women "on demand" despite their inner demons which led them to tragically (or accidentally) take their own lives?
Celebrities are proof that inner game, insecurities, and image issues are not necessarily an impediment to getting laid. And clearly, celebrities aren’t the only examples. It’s anecdotal, but I know countless men who have major self esteem issues but get laid constantly. For some men, going out and getting laid is even a coping mechanism for their self worth issues! Your insecurities are not necessarily why you aren’t getting laid!
You can isolate getting women from your other struggles
The corollary of inner game not being your problem is that you can isolate your inner game issues from your ‘getting women issues’. Strong inner game most definitely helps get women, but if your inner game struggles are deep, you don’t need to be depriving yourself of women as well! You CAN get women while being insecure, lacking confidence, and having feelings of low self worth. And if women if something you want in your life, you don’t need to fix all your issues in order to start getting them. Furthermore, it is likely that going out and focusing on getting women will actually help you overcome some of your inner struggles! That’s right, outer game can improve inner game, as I wrote about in a previous article.
If you want to get women, go out and focus on getting women first and foremost; don’t put the undo pressure on yourself to fix everything that you think is wrong about you, because not only is that a much harder path to get women, it could even compound certain inner game issues.
Stop using inner game struggles as a crutch
Maybe you aren’t happy about reading this article. Maybe you were satisfied working on inner game because it gave you an excuse not to approach women. Sorry. It’s time to drop the excuses. It’s time to stop using "weak inner game" as a crutch to not do anything about going out and trying to get the women you want. Strong inner game helps in seduction, but it isn’t a requisite; far from it, so stop using your insecurities as a crutch to stay not only insecure, but also woman-less.