TVJ and I regularly talk about logistics in dating, and how logistics are crucial
. We wrote about why having dates around 8pm is logistically useful
, and we wrote about how a first date routine can help improve your success with women
. In this article I want to cover location logistics. The crux of location logistics is simple and can be summed up in one line:
"Be walking distance from a sex location"
Here's how you make it happen.
Why Is Walking Distance Crucial
A date that is walking distance from a sex location (usually your place or hers) helps alleviate a myriad of dating issues that make dates less successful. Most obviously, it makes it much easier to go back to a sex location if the chemistry is right (and much easier to come up with simple excuses to make that happen). However, there are other benefits. It's easier for at least one party to drink more, it takes at least one party less time to get to the date (and to return) reducing potential time pressures, and it eliminates many transportation annoyances both relating to the date itself but especially relating to moving on to a sex location (do we take two cars there? but I have to drive the other direction, etc. etc.).
Making Walking Distance Happen, The Do's And Don'ts
1. DO: Propose a date within walking distance of your place
Do you want a date to be within walking distance of a sex location? The easiest way to do that is to propose a date near your place. Not only is this the most convenient date location for you in general, it's also generally easier to come up with excuses to get a girl back to your place
versus the other scenario (where you are probably just going to use the "can I use your bathroom" line). Even if the situation is such where a date near you is somewhat inconvenient for your date, it's still worth trying. You can quickly address any comments she makes about your selfishness by saying that this is the area where you know of good spots.
2. DON'T: Meet in the middle
Sometimes, arranging a date at a walking location near your place doesn't make sense or is quickly rejected by your date due to it being grossly inconvenient for her. This does not mean you should propose a place in the middle. Meeting "in the middle" is one of the worst possible dating locations (assuming the location isn't walkable to one or both parties).
(1) You aren't walking distance from a sex location -- this is the most important location logistics point.
(2) Neither of you is on each others' way -- not only are you not walking distance to one of your places, you aren't even on each others' way! Getting her to come back to your place becomes a trek because she has to go the opposite direction and THEN all the way back home at some point. That's a great way to kill someones' motivation.
3. DO: Meet walking distance to her place
If walking distance to your place is out, and meeting in the middle is bad, the next best thing you can do is meet walking distance to her place. This could be extra work for you, but it's worth it. Don't be concerned about appearing 'beta' because you agreed to go all the way to her area, it's a non issue. What matters is how much you improved your chances of getting more than a 5 second makeout session in the bar parking lot by an order of magnitude. If you meet walking distance by her place, you can easily offer to walk (or drive) her home and then use the "bathroom excuse" to invite yourself up. Simple, easy, and effective.
4. DO: Pick her up
It's possible that neither of you live in walking distance to any reasonable date location. If that is the case, all hope is not lost. The best way you can STILL end up very close to a walking location is by offering to pick her up. This way, at the end of the date it is a guarantee that you will be near her home. You can use that as an opening to get invited back to her place. A similar and often even more effective technique is to have her meet at your place and then you both take your car to the venue. This way she has to be back at you place after the date and you can proceed with some techniques from this article.
Always shoot for walking distance
Being close to a sex location is not the be all and end all of dating or one night stands, but it is one of the simplest steps you can take to increase your chances of success. Most guys recognize this; where they struggle is when walk-ability clashes with their convenience. Don't make the classic mistake of 'meeting in the middle': put in the extra effort to be within walking distance of a sex location