February 11, 2014 / Looks Aren’t Everything
Too many guys fall for the "hottest girl they can get". Often times, she is not the right one.
Men are very physical beings, so it is no surprise that looks is an important factor when it comes to their dating decisions. However, looks should not be everything when it comes to dating. If you are one of those guys who picks who they date exclusively based on looks, and worse yet, if you are one of those guys who convinces themselves they like everything about a girl when in reality all they like is her looks, you need to read this.
Looks Cloud Judgement
I’m sure we have all been there at some point in time: meeting a girl who is so hot you get knots in your stomach. Sometimes, we even get that girl on a date and in bed. Many times, we can even date them. When we do get to that state, our judgement is often clouded by her looks and that initial infatuation we had. It is very important to recognize that this happens to be able to overcome it.
Why is it important to overcome this issue? Well, because relationships that are based entirely on physical attraction are likely doomed from the get go. There needs to be other compatibility. This should be obvious, but the problem with dating "the really hot girl" is that her looks can blind you from obvious INcompatibilities.
Be aware that your judgement is likely clouded in the initial going and that you need to work "extra hard" to evaluate the relationship.
Looks Don’t Last
Everyone loses their looks. For some it takes longer than others, but it always happens. if you are thinking long term, you have to recognize that your girlfriend (or wife’s) looks can easily fluctuate throughout the time of your relationship. Just because she is hot now doesn’t mean she always will be and when you both grow old together (if that happens) it’s more or less a guarantee neither of you will be attractive. With the average age we live to around 80 in the US, that’s a lot of years when almost nobody is "smoking hot".
Furthermore, it can take a lot less time than growing old to lose looks. Women often "let themselves go" and sometimes, after childbirth women have a really hard time losing the extra weight. Weight isn’t the only thing that can change, by the way. Some women just age poorly and it is hard to tell that in advance.
Lastly, one factor that many men fail to recognize is that looks often times fade as you get used to them. Our ability to adapt is incredible, but it is not always a positive thing. The more you are around someone, the more you see them everyday, the less you will be wowed by their appearance. Slowly but surely they will begin to appear "normal". The butterflies in the stomach feeling rarely lasts forever; hell it rarely lasts a few months!
Other Attributes Last
Unlike looks, other attributes are likely to last, which is what makes them so important. Attributes such as intelligence, kindness, humor, high self-esteem, and perseverance all last much longer and probably contribute more towards a fruitful relationship than looks alone.
So, the next time you fall for a girl because of how gorgeous she is, remember that looks alone are not enough. Evaluate her fully and honestly as potential relationship material: don’t be that guy who tries to lock down the first hot girl he gets even if she is a train-wreck. By the way, I’m not saying go for the ugly girl, but don’t only think about looks.