November 03, 2013 / Make Her Your Girlfriend, Part 1
The first step is making sure you want a girlfriend.
You’ve learned and applied my philosophies and strategies, expanded your dating surface area and are having much more success approaching and dating women. You’ve met someone you’re attracted to, avoided key mistakes, and you feel ready to take the next step. But are you?
"Make Her Your Girlfriend" is my new series of advice on moving forward in a relationship with a woman. This series will be based on a few simple questions. All you will need to do is ask yourself these questions and consider your answers.
For this article, the question we’ll be addressing is…
Question #1. Do you want to be in a relationship with her?
Every other question is irrelevant if you can’t answer this one. This seems like it could be a complicated question, but fortunately there are only two answers.
Answer #1: "Yes."
Answer #2: Anything else, which means "No."
That’s it. It should literally be like a free word association. If your answer starts with anything qualified at all — "I like her, but…"; "She’s really cool, it’s just that…"; "Well, I think so, I guess I just…" — then the answer is NO. It’s that simple.
You do not want to be in a relationship. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep seeing her and dating her. The whole point to dating is to evaluate whether you should be in a relationship with someone. But if you end up in a relationship when you weren’t 100% ready for a girlfriend, you’re basically just blindly hoping that those "buts" or "justs" or "I guesses" work themselves on their own. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that the odds are against that happening.
The reasons are irrelevant. It’s could be because you’re very attracted to her but find her boring, or because she’s cool but not your type physically, or because you’re just not at a point in your life where you want to settle down. It really doesn’t matter. I understand while I’m stating this very matter-of-factly, this isn’t easy advice to digest. Clearly you like this girl, because you’re dating her. You just don’t like her enough for her to be your girlfriend.
And that’s okay. If you’re at the beginning of your journey to being a more successful and confident man, you’ll find yourself dating women that wouldn’t even give you the time of day before. You’ve probably been on the receiving end of a woman telling you, "you’re a nice guy, but…" so often, that you may not have even realized the reverse can happen as well.
So make sure you’re ready to fully embrace committing to a relationship. Otherwise you may end up losing out on a potential girlfriend because you never put your full amount of effort into it, or even worse, ending up in a relationship you never wanted to begin with!