August 20, 2014 / Makeovers for Men: Style
Be better than the Gap.
We now return to our Makeovers for Men series with our third and final installment. Haven’t read our previous articles on fitness and hair/grooming? Go ahead and do that now. No rush though – we’ll wait.
All caught up now? Good. The topic of these "makeover" tips are about style. You may be rolling your eyes at this point, thinking I’m going to talk about things like peacocking and how you need to sink several hundred dollars into a new wardrobe. But this isn’t a fashion guide, and I only touch on clothing briefly. When I say style, I mean "anything that isn’t actually biologically part of your body." Yes, this is clothing, but it’s also a lot of other things. Like everything else we’ve talked about in this series, how you wear or apply these things won’t make a huge difference in your appearance in isolation, but all together they can give you a much more attractive appearance to women.
So with that said, let’s talk about some of these style tips. For fun, I’m going to highlight each section with a quote from the movie "Crazy, Stupid, Love," which I feel is one of the few Hollywood romantic comedies that isn’t completely terrible.
"You’re sitting there with a Supercuts haircut, you’re getting drunk on watered down vodka cranberries like a 14 year old girl, and you’re wearing a 44 when you should be wearing a 42 regular."
Buy clothes that fit. This seems like an obvious point, but this is probably the most common way guys sell themselves short with their clothes. So many guys I see look like they’re a kid wearing their father’s shirt for a bad job interview.
Here’s an easy rule of thumb: whatever your clothing size is, get one size smaller. If you wear size L shirts, get size M. If you wear a size 40 regular jacket, get a size 38. This is especially true if you’re in the US and have a relatively lean or skinny build. Pretty much all clothing sold in the US is meant for typical "American fat guy" proportions, so I look pretty ridiculous unless I buy shirts that are size S or maybe size M.
"Cal. Be better than the Gap. Be better than the Gap. Say it."
Like I said, the point of this article isn’t to discuss specific fashions or styles you should wear, or to advise you to do to things like peacocking.
But I would recommend you have some sort of sense of style. Your clothing should indicate some sort of "personal mark." In other words, if you showed somebody a photo of you and your friends and censored all your faces, someone should be able to tell who you are just by your clothing.
Having a sense of style doesn’t mean you have to be "stylish." You don’t have to start wearing vests or custom-tailored shirts in unique colors. As long as you don’t look like every other shmuck wearing jeans and a blue button-down shirt from the Gap, then you’re on the right track.
"Where are your wallets?"
You don’t need to spend a lot of money on clothes, but you should invest in your accessories. For men, the three accessories you’ll typically be wearing a lot are your belt, your watch, and your shoes.
Invest in a good double-sided belt (ie. one where you can flip the belt buckle and switch between black and brown colors). Make sure it can fit both snugly around your waist (when you’re wearing a suit) and rest on top of your hips (when you’re wearing jeans). If you buy a nice quality belt like this, you can wear it for pretty much everything and not need to replace it for years.
Just like with belts, a good wallet can last you years. There are a lot of different wallets in all sorts of creative sizes and shapes, so I’d recommend finding one that suits your style. A cool wallet can even be a great conversation point in social situations. You’re basically never going to leave your house without your wallet, so it’s worth investing in a good one.
Josh already wrote a lot about watches, so if you don’t know anything about watches you should get started there.
But ultimately, you should have a good-looking watch and wear it whenever you go out. It doesn’t need to be an expensive watch, as long as it doesn’t look like a watch that any of these people would wear:
- a track coach
- a scuba diver
- a 7th grade boy
In other words, make sure you’re wearing a respectable looking and subtle watch that doesn’t look like a a piece ripped off a yacht’s navigational spread or a hub cap off of Optimus Prime.
"Are you Steve Jobs? Hold on a second… are you to billionaire owner of Apple Computers? Oh, well, in that case, you’ve got no right to wear New Balance sneakers ever."
Unless you really think you can pull it off, don’t wear sneakers when you go out. You may think you look "laid back and casual," but you probably just look lazy and not well put together. Also, you really don’t need to give bouncers another reason to power trip and not let you in because of your footwear. Don’t be the guy who fucks up everyone’s plans because you’re wearing sneakers and you can’t get into the bar or club.
With that said, most guys literally have a single pair of black shoes that they wear pretty much every time they go out until they disintegrate. Don’t do this. Buy 2-3 pairs of nice shoes, and rotate them evenly. Make sure you clean, polish, and disinfect them occasionally. You might not give a shit about shoes, but women will definitely notice.
"I’m going to help you rediscover your manhood. Do you have any idea where you could have lost it?"
Find a "scent" that works for you. Yeah, wearing AXE was kind of cool in 2006 and/or when you were in college, but if you’re a grown man you should not smell like a frat boy.
Your scent doesn’t need to be a fancy cologne, it could be as simple as your aftershave. Experiment until you find one that works well with your body chemistry. And by the way, "working well" means "lasting more than 15 minutes." If you feel cologne is pointless because the smell evaporates unless you douse yourself with it, you’re using one that’s not compatible with your body chemistry.
A scent that reacts well with your body chemistry will still be noticeable hours later. Your goal should be to have a girl say "ooh, you smell nice" when you kiss her. Once you’ve gotten a reaction like that, you’ll know you’ve found the scent that’s right for you.
Final Words: These Tips are Not the Foundation
This concludes our "Makeovers for Men" series. Hopefully you’ll find some or all of these tips helpful in making you look and feel better with women. It only takes a small, incremental improvement in your attraction to mean a significant difference in the number of girls you can successfully approach and escalate with.
That being said… these tips are just that: small, incremental improvements. On JoshSway.com, we write a lot about increasing and demonstrating your value. These tips are most helpful for the guys that say, "I have a good job, people say I have a decent-looking body, but why do I feel like I’m invisible at a bar or a club?"
But if you’re totally out of the shape, aren’t on track with your education or career, or have other major "value deficiencies," then these tips aren’t going to help you much. So focus on core value first, and then utilize these tips when you feel you’re in a good place physically, mentally, and financially.