September 12, 2013 / One-itis and the standard cure
One-itis is when you can't get that one girl out of your head.
You may have not heard the term one-itis, but you most definitely know what it is. One-itis (or oneitis, or one itis) is a term used to describe that "one special girl" that you just can’t get out of your head. The one girl that makes your body feel like jell-o when you so much as see her, or hear her name mentioned. Usually, it is also the one that "got away."; the one that you wanted oh so bad but didn’t get. One-itis could even be why you are on joshsway.com in the first place. It could be what brought you into the world of pick-up, dating advice, and self improvement.
Almost everyone, if not everyone, has or will experience one-itis at some point. It seems to be a natural part of the lives of guys who date. Given women have even stronger emotional attachments to people than men, I cannot imagine how "bad" one-itis is for a woman! So, what is the "solution" to one-itis? How do you get that girl out of your head once you know that winning her (or winning her back) is a low probability event; a lost cause, so to speak?
The first step is to understand that one-itis is a normal feeling and that your situation isn’t some sort of "special" one-itis. Once you accept the normality of the situation then it will be easier for you to accept that the solutions that worked for other peoples’ one-itis will also likely work for you. You will stop being defensive and come up with excuse after excuse why your situation is "different" and so and so solution "won’t work", why "you don’t understand, it’s a different kind of one-itis" etc. etc. Accept it right here and now that it is NOT a different one-itis. It is the same one-itis millions of other men have experienced and overcome.
Now that you have acceptance out of the way, here is the standard "cure" for one-itis:
First, cut off contact, facebook stalking, and other similar activities. You do not need to defriend them, delete their number from your phone, or anything like that; simply disengage all contact.
Second, go out and interact with other women. It is common to believe that a particular woman, especially a "one-itis" is "special". I am sure she is, but there are millions of other special women. She is not unique. Go out and meet other women and you will learn this quickly. If you are not learning this it is because you are still suffering from illusions as to this particular woman’s value.
Third, do not expect results over night. Getting over one-itis takes time. By time I don’t mean days, or even weeks; it could be months until your obsession is just a tiny footnote in your mind (or perhaps an embarrassing time in your life you laugh about). Accept that it will take time for your feelings to dissipate, but they will.
This article is a basic intro to one-itis and an introduction to the most important "cure" that every man should know. Check back on the site for more "One-itis cures", ways to avoid future one-itis in the first place, and ways to turn things around when you find yourself beginning to be afflicted with one-itis (including ways to actually GET the girl!)