January 31, 2014 / Online Dating For Confidence
Online dating success should be boosting your confidence.
A lot of men are hesitant to try online dating. Some still consider it "cheating" and others go as far as saying that online dating is detrimental to their success with "real" women (as if women met online are not real). I believe this is complete nonsense. If anything, online dating will improve your skills with women and likely dramatically improve your confidence with women as well. Don’t be distracted by nonsense suggesting otherwise.
Online dating is easier
As I have written before, online dating is easier than dating in "real life". This part is true. It is easier to get dates, and it is easier for dates to be successful. You do not have competition from other men at a venue; once you get the girl out on a date (which takes as little as 2 messages), you have her all to yourself. Furthermore, most likely, by the time she agrees to go out with you, she is already somewhat interested, so the game is really yours to lose as opposed to starting in a hole trying to attract the woman right off the bat. However, this does not mean online dating is not "real".
Success breeds confidence, even from online dating
In my article about how inner game is best learned in the field, I talk about how success breeds confidence. So then, it should seem logical that getting easy success would help increase your confidence! It truly does work. If you haven’t been laid in month and you go out with a girl online and sleep with her that first night, even if you think it is "cheating" and that it was "too easy", you have got to at least recognize that someone out there is attracted to you sexually which should go towards putting to rest any concerns that you are "unattractive" and "not viewed sexually by women".
Distinguishing "can’t meet women" from "can’t get women"
While if you do online dating "right", sex is easy to get; however, you don’t need to be sleeping with models on the first date from online dating to boost your confidence. Any thing you get (and I don’t just mean physically) from an online date that you aren’t getting in real life should be a confidence booster: it means, with a woman one on one, you are making progress and actually have some ability. Fixing the problem of "I have no success with women" is much harder than fixing the problem of "I am not meeting women". If you can have success with women you meet online, then you are working on fixing a much simpler problem of "how to meet more women" as opposed to "how to succeed with women".
For the 100th time, it’s not "cheating"
So it is clear that success breeds confidence and that online dating makes success easy to get, so then why is it still frowned upon? One major reason is that it is considered "cheating". This is of course, absolutely ridiculous, so for the 100th time: online dating is not "cheating". Let’s think about this. We use the computer to send e-mails, read articles, pay bills, and who knows what else. Is that cheating? Is it cheating to send an e-mail versus send a letter by carrier pigeon? Is it cheating to look a fact up online versus going to the library to do it? Of course not.
When it comes to dating, is it cheating for a girl to show off her hot body by wearing tight clothes to get guys? Is it cheating for a guy to dress well to improve his chances to get girls, or to go to the gym to get girls more easily?
Get it out of your head once and for all re: online dating and cheating. Online dating is not cheating. The women on there are real life women who are looking to meet real life men just like other women out at a bar or club. Also, unlike a prostitute anything they do with you is because they WANT to do it, because they are attracted to you, just like the women you meet out anywhere else. Do not let this conception that online dating is "cheating" diminish your accomplishments in online dating when what it should be doing is boosting your confidence!