Josh Sway
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/ Online Dating vs Live: Comparing Apples to Apples

A response from a woman online is more powerful than a response at a bar.


One of the most common complaints that aspiring pick up artists have about online game is the perceived lack of responses from women. Any forum that has a section dedicated to online dating usually has ample questions about "how to get women to respond", "what is the best opener?", or something similar. They also have ample posts that look pretty much like this:

"When I go out live, I can open just about any girl. How come online, maybe 10% of women respond to me when I write them. I’m not a bad looking guy. I don’t get it. What am I doing wrong?"

While someone who gets only a 10% response rate is probably doing a lot wrong with both their messaging and their profile, even if done right (check out our comprehensive guide, Sway Seduction) the response rate from an opener online will generally be lower, if not much lower than responses at a bar or club. However, this does NOT mean online dating is inferior to live dating. What is really going on here is that a response to an opener online means MUCH more than a response to an opener at a bar.

Online dating sites are for men and women who want to meet someone for a romantic relationship of some sort. When a woman responds to your message, she is, most of the time, indicating that she sees you as a potential romantic interest. Now consider going up to a girl at the bar. How many times does a woman just completely ignore you or tell you to f off? It happens, but it isn’t that common. Most of the time, they will at least be polite and have a conversation with you.

Does that really mean anything though? How many of the girls you successfully "open" at a bar are girls you successfully date, sleep with, or even get on a single date? The numbers are probably pretty low. This is normal: many women are not out at bars to meet guys to date or sleep with but they will happily have a conversation and even flirt a little. Opening is easy, but turning an opener into a close, whether it be a date, sex or a relationship is much more difficult.

Online, turning a response to an opener to a date is easy, and with proper dating technique geared towards women met online (see Sway Seduction) more often than not, you can turn dates into more. So, what is the actual accurate apples to apples comparison of online dating openers to "live" openers? It should be how many of the women you open live end up SLEEPING with you, or DATING you versus that same number for online dating.

If you have proper online dating technique, you will see that the apples to apples comparison shows online dating openers are actually MUCH more successful than live openers. Less women will respond at all, but much more of those who do will actually lead to something. After all, what’s your goal? Getting more sex and more relationships with beautiful women, or chit chatting with girls at the bar, most of whom you will never see again? I’m going to guess it’s the former.





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