September 10, 2013 / Online Over-Gaming
Don't go overboard with routines and gimmicks online
If I had to pick one area which I truly excel in when it comes to pick up, I would pick online dating. Online dating is my bread and butter, my flagship restaurant, my signature move. I have spent nearly a decade meticulously optimizing my online game and the online game of others. I even wrote a 250+page e-book on the subject. (See Sway Seduction)
Now, there are dozens of mistakes men make with online dating, and I cover a lot of them in my book and will cover many in future articles. Today, I am going to talk about one particularly crushing mistake men make in real life as well, but especially online. This mistake is over-gaming, and it is the Achilles heel of many men; particularly those starting out with the "Pick-Up Artist" scene.
Over-gaming is the act of using too many gimmicks and canned routines instead of engaging in a natural conversation and physically escalating when appropriate. It is also the act of constantly trying to ‘build attraction and or comfort’ as opposed to taking action. A lot of this occurs due to a fear of rejection: it is easier to run routine after routine versus actually isolating and attempting to close (get a number, kiss, or even a lay). However, many men simply get too caught up in the "PUA" scene and so overly enthusiastic about gimmicks and routines that they do not know when to stop "spitting game".
Online, over-gaming almost always manifests in the messaging and text messaging phase. I am a firm believer that all messaging and text messaging should be done with the very specific purpose of getting a date in mind. When you jump into your car to drive to the mall 5 miles away, do you get on the highway, drive 20 miles north of the mall, get off at a random exit, drive through a few neighborhoods, circle back out to a different highway, and go 30 miles south of your original destination? I freaking hope not because that is just crazy.
However, this is exactly what I see countless men doing when it comes to online messaging! Instead of using targeted messages to get a woman’s number and get her out on a date, I see men driving around in circles asking gimmick question after gimmick question, talking about skittles or M&Ms, telling her she is a trouble maker, asking her whether she likes good guys or bad guys, playing a random game that makes no sense and who knows what else.
This is hallmark over-gaming and one of the best ways to waste a lot of time not getting an actual date or a number. A good general rule for almost ALL forms of messaging is to stick to at most one routine. Yes, forget about stacking and all that jazz. Most likely, if you are planning out stacks and stacks of routines you are already on the wrong track and it’s best that you simply do not run any routines versus launching an endless stream of routine projectile vomit at your target via message.
In Sway Seduction, I show a simple method to get a woman’s number in as little as two messages. This is the NORMAL result for me; I usually get the number within two messages and then arrange a date. The secret is targeted messages that get you from point A to point B in a straight line, not some crazy 25 message loop that usually ends up with you in the "pen-pal zone" if not completely ignored. My method is far from the only method, but just about any method that involves more than one routine, stacking, or even more than 5 back and forth messages is most likely over-gaming. Don’t get caught in this trap: don’t over game.