When I started getting active in the "PUA" community, I would put a lot of emphasis on my "opener". I'd spend time analyzing opening technique and planning exactly how I was going to approach XYZ woman. I would come up with "new" openers and test them out. Basically, I was so heavily focused on openers that I lost focus on the rest of seduction, which of course, was missing 90% of the game
Focus on delivery
As I wrote about in this article
, 90%+ of game happens after the approach. I also wrote a little about how delivery is what matters with openers, and not content. I want to delve more into this important point here.
Why delivery matters
The main reasons how you deliver an opener is so important is because non-verbal communication, body language, and tone are all attributes women are looking at. Not only that, there is a good chance that these attributes are almost all they are evaluating you by. When you approach a woman, especially a hot woman who gets hit on a lot, here is what she hears when you go up to her:
"I'm hitting on you. I'm hitting on you. I'm hitting on you. I'm hitting on you...."
Obviously, that is an exaggeration, but the idea is sound: what you say is for the most part, going in one ear and out the other until you get her interest. So, how can you get her interest with an opener if what you are saying hardly matters? The only other option is your appearance and your delivery. You must deliver your opener effectively because there is a good chance she is noticing your delivery much more than the content.
How to deliver effectively
Knowing that delivery matters is only have the battle. You can know something, but if you don't know how to do it, it isn't particularly useful. Here are 4 tips to improve the way you deliver an opener:
1. Be consistent with your opener style and your approach
If you are using a direct opener, approach her directly with confidence. If you are using an indirect opener, open her in a casual manner, usually from the side, and maybe even just say your little piece and turn as if you are getting back to your own business. One opener (direct) is meant to display confidence, so show that with your delivery. The other (indirect) is meant to display non-neediness so don't act needy while delivering it.
2. Speak Up
You want to hurt your chances right off the bat? Speak too softly and get the following response to your clever perfectly timed opener: "Huh?" or maybe "I couldn't hear you?" or "excuse me?". It's very hard to appear confident when the person can't even hear what you are saying. Make sure you speak up.
3. Have good body language
Body language is crucial. Bad posture, insecure movements, fidgeting, and the like can turn a woman off in an instant. What you say won't matter if your body language is unattractive. Make sure you have good posture, are making good eye contact, and aren't acting nervous, fidgety, or insecure.
4. Know when to move on from your opener
The goal of an opener is to open. Once you accomplish that, don't feel the need to stick with some routine you used to open. You got her attention, good, that's what matters. From here on in, it's about attracting her, not completing some random routine for the sake of completeness.
A good opener can help
While delivery is by far the most important element of an opener, I am not trying to trivialize the content component. A good opener with good content can add some value versus just saying "hi" or using some random nonsense that makes no sense. But, your focus should be on delivery, with content being the wing man, and not vice versa.