December 06, 2013 / PUA / Seduction versus Traditional Dating
Dating advice from "PUAs" and traditional experts is often very different. Who is right?
As a member of many forums and other member communities, I regularly see a clash between PUA (Pick-up artist)/ "seduction" advise and so called "traditional" dating advice you may find in a mainstream media and non "seduction" affiliated dating coaches. Who should you listen to? Find out Josh Sway’s take here.
PUA and Traditional Dating Advice is often similar
Often, the advice from both camps is similar: for instance, no dating guide will tell you that eye contact is bad or that playful touching is bad. No guide will tell you that you should not be confident or that a good sense of humor isn’t a positive attribute. The list of similarities in the styles of mainstream advice and "seduction" or "PUA" advice is quite extensive, so the fact that there is a constant clash between the two "camps" is actually somewhat surprising. With that said, there are some key differences.
The main differences
Here are three key differences between the traditional dating model and the "seduction" model are as follows:
Most seduction / PUA models advocates aggressive escalation with sex as the end game versus the traditional dating model which advocates considerable comfort building before sex and preaches the virtues of patience.
The PUA model often advocates the use of memorized or "canned" routines that have been tested by men to engage women effectively. Traditional dating models shun the use of specific routines and techniques and instead focuses on engaging in natural conversation.
3. Direction of Interest
Most seduction models focus on getting your date to express interest in you whereas the traditional dating model puts considerable emphasis on expressing your interest in your date.
How the Models Stack up
Let’s break down how I think each model stacks up in the aforementioned three key areas.
Hands down, the seduction/pua model is the correct way to go about dating. You can read more about why taking it slow is a bad strategy here. Sex is a necessary step in just about any dating goal, whether it be a one night stand or a relationship. It is also a critical juncture that amps up the connection. The sooner you get there, the better it is for you. Furthermore, the pace of action in the seduction model is faster and more aggressive in most areas. Most men are too passive with women, which means what they need is the seduction/pua model when it comes to pace.
Winner: PUA / Seduction
Routines are useful for confidence building and beginners but there is no substitute for natural conversation. The traditional dating model of having normal conversation that isn’t scripted and planned is a more sustainable method. Most experts even in the seduction community hardly bother with routines anymore, which should tell you who the winner of this category is.
Winner: Traditional Dating
3. Direction of Interest
When it comes to the direction of interest, things become a little murkier. Initially, I am in the camp of the seduction community: a woman doesn’t get attracted to someone just because they show interest in them, she gets attracted by attracted qualities and displays of high value (DHV). However, a common issue with the logic of always trying to make her attracted is that the attraction needs to be reciprocated at some point. Once you have established some attraction, you don’t have to play as many "games" and you can be more vulnerable expressing your interest. As for the winner? I call it a tie. The seduction model is how you should start an interaction, but then you should be transitioning to the traditional dating model as time goes on and attraction is established.
Cut To The Chase, Josh. Which Is Better?
Alright alright, one win for each and a tie breaker is kind of a cop out, I admit it! At the end of the day, if I had to choose one model to follow, and a community to learn from, I would go with the PUA / seduction community despite its more underground nature and bad rap. The main reason is that the core essence of the seduction model, to aggressively escalate is not only more crucial than the other differences between the models but also the area where most men have difficulty. With that said, the best way to learn is to take the best from both worlds. This is what I am trying to give you here at JoshSway.com.