February 08, 2014 / Seeing Multiple Women?
Here are some tips on how to put off making a decision.
As your ability with women improves you will have more and more choice in the matter of who you date. Choices in our dating life are great and what you should always be striving for. However, sometimes, you don’t want to make a choice. How do you maintain the interest and attraction of multiple women you are interested in? Read on.
1. Multiple women is not always sustainable
There are those who are consistently involved in "multiple long term relationships" (mLTR) or open long term relationships but these are not the norm. Not every woman will be ok with these types of relationships and frankly, while many men think they want an open long term relationship or an mLTR, many actually don’t when in the situation. Because of this, I would go into a multiple women situation expecting a short term situation where you are seeing both of them, not a very long term one. Doesn’t mean it cant become very long term, I’m only saying don’t expect it to be.
2. Don’t bring up the subject
I have generally found when I have been involved with multiple women that the best way to maintain the situation in the initial going is to not bring it up. I don’t bring up that I am dating other women, and I don’t ask her about the status of our relationship. If she probes and insists on knowing all the details, I reveal as little as I possibly can. Women will often try to "trick" you into revealing a lot of information by acting as if they don’t care about the answer one way or the other. Do not fall for this common tactic. If a woman wants to know about your dating life with respect to other women, she cares! The simple solution here is to actively try to avoid the subject.
3. Leave flexibility in your schedule
Maintaining attraction and interest of multiple women requires time and flexibility. Be sure you leave flexibility in your schedule to see not just one woman, but two (or more). Women will quickly grow suspicious if she has to schedule a date with you a week in advance and can’t just "come over" or "hang out" on a whim. You don’t have to always be free, but if you are never free for that last minute meet up request, she will suspect there is another woman involved.
4. Don’t make it easy for her to find out
This should be obvious, but don’t do stupid things like have one of your girlfriends leave clothes and/or toiletries at your place. You don’t have to start vacuuming your apartment every time a girl leaves but don’t make it easy for the girls you are seeing to find out about each others’ existence. Not bringing it up (Point 2) is important, but it is not enough. Be active in ensuring it isn’t easy for one girl to find out about the other. Don’t forget text messages and e-mails. it is much easier to keep things in your memory than flip out if one of your "girlfriends" picks up your phone and sees a text from another woman.
5. Make them happy
At the end of the day, women will want to hang out with you if you make them happy. So if you want her to keep hanging out with you even if you are seeing other women as well, make her happy. Attend to her needs, not just physically, but also emotionally. Be there for that boring phone conversation you don’t want to have at least some of the time. If you are fulfilling what she is looking for in a man at the stage in her life physically and emotionally, she will be much more tolerant of you seeing other women as well. This point is key.
6. Know when you have to make a decision
All of the above advice is great for the early stages of dating: you are courting multiple women but it is still not at the stage where a committed relationship is expected. You haven’t had "the talk" with any of them yet, and while they may want you all for themselves at this stage, they know it is unreasonable for them to expect that is the case at the current stage.
However, with time, this will change. Pay attention to changes in behavior and pay attention to passing time. At some point, sneaking around and avoiding the subject becomes irresponsible and hurtful to the women you are seeing. Have a plan on how you plan on either making the decision or how you plan on letting them know you are interested in continuing to see them but not exclusively.