Josh Sway
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/ Stop Having A "Type"

Thinking you have a type generally has a crippling effect on success with women.


If I had a penny for every time someone told me about their "type" and "criteria" for women, I would be at the beach on some tropical island right now. The reality is, you probably think you have a type, but until you have been in a serious relationship (and even if you have), you actually probably do not have a type.

The origin of most "types"

You think you have a type. You may even be adamant that you have a type, but I bet you that you don’t. Why do you think that? Most likely, the cause is oneitis. You met some great girl (usually she is "great" only because she is hotter than most girls you meet, be honest!) and you become infatuated with her. Suddenly, everything about her becomes your "type". Is she blond? Suddenly, you like blondes. She tall? You only like tall girls. She ditzy? You like ditzy girls. In general, this is how "types" develop: an unhealthy infatuation or obsession with a particular girl, who then you don’t get, but decide that you should only pursue her clones.

You know what you "don’t want"

Many men believe they have a type due to a bad experience with a woman that had particular attributes. This is very different than having a type, this is more about knowing what you "don’t want". I get it, your girl friend was really into going out with her friends while you were dating so you don’t want to date a party animal again because it made you jealous. Or maybe your girlfriend was really demanding re: something particular and it was bad for your relationship, so you try to avoid that.

Unfortunately, no one is perfect, and there will always be something in any relationship you have that bothers you. Also, often times what seems like the attribute or behavior you do not like is actually just a symptom of other issues in the relationship. To try to pinpoint why your last relationship didn’t work, often times, is futile.

With that said, you probably do not want a girl who is an alcoholic, drug abuser, or has some other "obvious" bad traits. But seriously, I wouldn’t really count: "a girl who is not a crack addicted junkie" as "having a type".

Evaluate Women as a whole

Instead of trying to make a checklist or run away from women who say some magic word you decided you don’t like, start evaluating women as a whole. Don’t evaluate a girl you just met with a checklist, and don’t just compare every girl you meet to your last crush. People are all individuals, with various strengths and weaknesses. Having a few conditions when it comes to obviously bad traits is one thing, but to get nitpicky about everything is a recipe for disastrous relationships. I know because I’ve personally known people with a "check list" and the end result was, well, disaster.





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