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/ Suck It Up And Do It

Sometimes, to keep her, you have to suck it up and do some things you don't want to do.

In relationships and sometimes in courtship, one of the hardest things to do is the "cheesy" things. The flowers, the poetry, telling her you love her or listening to her whine and complain about something silly are all things that you must have at least some patience for if you want to be in a worthwhile relationship.

If you are new to relationships and have had the alpha male mentality battered into your head over the years you are probably thinking along the lines of:

<em>"Buying gifts is beta. I am the prize."</em> or
<em>"It would be disingenuous of me to pretend I care about the silly things she is whining about."</em> or
<em>"I am my own man, if I am not interested in something, I am not going to pretend for someone else."</em>

Well, I got news for you, if you want to be in a relationship, learn to suck it up and do those things, because relationships do take compromise, and they do take you doing things you don't want to do from time to time, and they do take you faking interest in something because you care about making the other person feel better.
<h4>Getting her and keeping her are different</h4>
I learned this the hard way, so I will spare you the pain of learning it the hard way by just telling you this fact: Getting her and keeping her are two different things that require two different approaches. When you are starting your journey improving with women, the focus is initially on the get. After all, you can't keep what you don't even have! And getting girls, as you know by now if you read this page involves confidence, assertiveness, aggressiveness, a concerted effort not to appear to needy, and often a good dose of "playing hard to get".

Of those skills and traits, the first two still hold value in dating. The third also does to an extent, but the last two are much less important to worry about. Playing hard to get has almost no place in a relationship unless it is just starting. When it comes to neediness, allowing yourself to be walked all over is not going to be good for anyone in the relationship but the level of "non-neediness" you need to display is very small relative to courtship.

What do these theoretical differences amount to in practice? They amount to sucking it up and buying her a gift from time to time, come home with flowers, tell her you love her, listen to her whine about stupid shit, and surprising her with a benevolent action on your part every once in a while. You don't (and shouldn't) do this stuff all the time, but don't underestimate the power of doing it every once in a while!

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