September 17, 2013 / The 3 C’s of pickup
The 3 C's of pickup are 3 key concepts that every guy should know.
One can never hope to master all the intricacies of picking up women. Not only is every woman unique, there are countless qualities that attract some women but turn off others. No one can pick up any woman, and no one system will give you the highest odds of attracting women. It all depends on you, your target, and how you to vibe or don’t vibe. With that said, there are still some basic theories that are consistent across systems and hold true with just about any woman. The 3 C’s of pick up fall into this category: three words that help make up the core of any solid pick up system. They are confidence, congruence, and calibration.
The simplest of the 3 C’s is confidence. Confidence is a highly desirable and attractive trait in men. It is also one of the easiest to learn because it can come virtually entirely from within you. Confidence is expressed in many ways. It is expressed through words; the things you say and the way you say them. It is expressed through body language, such as posture and eye contact. It is also expressed through the interactions others observe you in. Women will notice if you have confidence in your social circle or other social circles, or even just in random interactions. Confidence screams high value, and women are attracted to men with high value.
When two shapes in geometry are congruent, it means they are identical. Congruence in dating has a slightly different meaning; it means acting in a way that is consistent. Perhaps the word should be consistency instead of congruence, but congruence seems to be what is used. For example, if you have a hilarious online dating profile, it is best that you also be funny in real life. If you act very confidently with your friends, it is expected that you are the same with women. Congruence is about telling a consistent story about who you are; if you are inconsistent in your behavior, if your actions don’t line up with your words, women will tell and they will become suspicious. Note that while you can often get away with a lack of congruence over a short period of time, it doesn’t take long for it to catch up to you.
Perhaps the most important of the three C’s is calibration. Calibration is all about knowing how to interact with people and how to react to other peoples’ actions. Many aspiring pick-up artists spend countless hours memorizing routines and practicing techniques on women. Unfortunately, lost in the routines and memorized techniques is the concept of calibration. In order to be successful with women, you must know when what you are doing is working and when it is not. When it is not working, you need to recognize it as quickly as possible and pursue another avenue of “attack”. If what you are doing is working, keep at it; probe deeper and escalate.
I want to emphasize this point: Openers, routines, gambits, and all of the fancy “PUA” (pick-up artist) stuff are just tools. Think of them like musical notes. Calibration is all about putting the notes together to form a coherent beautiful composition. Calibration is about feeling the “rhythm” in your target and adjusting your “melody” to be in synch with her. You need to feel the “key changes”, perhaps even before she notices and quickly adapt so that you are always in perfect harmony with her. When you master calibration, you will see a dramatic change in your success with women for the better.
There is a lot more to picking up women than the 3 C’s of pickup; however, I still believe they are crucial to your future success. Want more details about the 3 C’s of pickup? Check out our follow up articles on: Confidence, Congruence, and Calibration.