October 01, 2013 / The 3 Modes Of Communication And How To Use Them
Learn Josh Sway's model for communicating with women.
When you interact with any human being, you are generally using three main modes of communication. They are speech, eye contact, and body language.
Speech refers to the words coming out of your mouth, both their meaning and their tone.
Eye contact refers to the way you look or don’t look at the other person. Whether you are looking away when talking to them or gazing into their eyes, for example.
Body language refers to the actions of the rest of your body. Are you reaching over the table to touch the other person? Are you moving yourself closer or further from them? Etc.
Being successful with women (and in any interaction) involves effectively using these three modes of communication. Before I go into how to effectively use these modes of conversation on a woman, I want to break down the types of communication into sexual and non-sexual sub categories.
The sexual category means using words or behavior that are intended to directly evoke thoughts and feelings of sex in your date. For example, for speech, talking about sex. For eye contact, looking down her shirt or gazing deep into her eyes. For body language, moving closer to her and/or any kind of physical contact would fall under the sexual category.
The non-sexual category is anything that doesn’t fall into the sexual category. For example, looking around the room while talking to someone. Moving physically away from your date is another example. Talking about the movies may be an example of non-sexual speech.
With this further break-down, the way I generally go about an interaction with women is as follows:
1. Speech – non-sexual
2. Eye contact – sexual
3. Body language – sexual
Many models suggest all three modes should be sexual, and while that is often effective, I find the non-sexual / sexual / sexual model to be more effective in more situations. Why is this model effective?
The reason this model is effective is because it is a well rounded attraction approach. Women are attracted to strong confident sexual behavior, but it is not the only thing that attracts them. They are attracted to many other traits which are not overtly sexual, such as intelligence, high social standing, humor, artistic ability, etc.
Since it is very hard to demonstrate these other abilities with eye contact (what are you going to do, blink out your IQ in Morse Code?) and other than sign language, it’s quite difficult to express anything more than sexual interest or disinterest in body language, you are left with speech as a convenient way to express your non-sexual attributes. Likewise, speech is often an inappropriate method of communicating sexual thoughts and desires whereas eye contact and body language are highly effective modes of communicating sex in a more subtle and acceptable manner.
As I mentioned previously, while women like sexual men, they like well rounded men even better. You can deliver ample sexual energy with eye contact and body language that it makes the most sense to use speech to "round yourself out" and show your target all your other great attributes that should make her want you.