March 21, 2014 / The Importance of Making Her Invest
Make her go the extra mile for you.
Getting "investment" from a woman is an extremely important concept that I’ve regularly mentioned in previous articles, like how you can prevent her flaking. But in this article I want to fully dive into what "investment" is in regards to dating, and why it is so important.
What "Investment" Means
Investment refers to the quantity of time and effort a woman puts in to meeting you and dating you. "Effort" is defined very broadly. Anything from having to shower and change to meet you to sleeping with you can be classified as effort. Naturally, the more time and more effort she puts in for you, the larger the investment.
The More Investment, The Better
As a general rule, the more she invests in you, the better. Now, don’t take this "rule" too literally. When your date asks you what time you want to meet, don’t tell her "at a time when the hour is divisible by three and is one of the factors of the current month, and the minute is a prime number between 32 and 39." Yes, it will require a lot of time and effort for her to figure it out. It will also make you look completely weird. You don’t want to artificially create situations that create investments, but you should not shy away from asking her to do something you want just because it may require investment from her.
Now, how and why is investment so important? There are four main reasons:
1. It Makes You Appear Non-Needy
I’ve written about being non-needy in the past. Neediness kills your chances with women for a variety of reasons, with the major one being that you’ll look like you have no options, and she may conclude she’s too good for you. Women do not want men with no options, because the obvious implication is negative: if a man has no other options, other women do not find him attractive, in which case, it is likely he is not attractive.
When you make her invest, you demonstrate that you are willing to take the risk that she says no. The implication is that you’re willing to take this risk because you have other options, which further implies that you’re a desirable and attractive person. Essentially, you are saying: "Don’t want to meet me near my place? No problem, I will go out with one of the dozen other girls just as good as you who will." These options mean you’re choosing to go out with a girl near your place, and it’s up to her whether she wants to invest the time and effort to be that girl. And making the choices you want is what alpha behavior is all about. Which leads me to my next point…
2. It’s a Classic Alpha Quality
Remember my article about 5 ways you can start acting alpha right now? The first two were: "When asked, state a preference" and "Stop asking for permission." You are doing both of these when you demand investment. Instead of asking how you can make things as easy as possible for her, you are not asking for permission and instead stating your preferences, "demanding" she invest in making things easy for you.
Furthermore, there are many more alpha qualities you demonstrate when you demand some investment. Being non-needy and having options is one. Being willing to take risks is another. Knowing what you want is a third. The list goes on.
3. Women tend to put more effort into guys they have invested in
It is human nature to care about our investments. Whether they are investments of time, money, or both, we hate to see them go to waste, and we often put in even more time, effort and sometimes money to see them succeed.
This applies equally to women and dating. If she has to get dolled up and travel 30 minutes to see you, you bet she is going to want the date to work out much more than if she just has to roll out of bed in yoga pants to meet you for coffee at 11am. There’s no commitment in the latter, no investment, and because of that, there is much less reason to care about the outcome. Make her put in an initial amount of effort, and you’ll see she’ll put even more effort on her own volition to make sure that initial effort doesn’t go to waste!
4. Women become attached to men they’ve invested in
The followup to point 3 is the element of attachment and investment. Not only will women put in more effort if they invest per point 3, they will often become attached. This is particularly true of their investment was sexual. Got her to sleep with you? She’ll become attached to you even if you just met her at a bar thirty minutes before! On the other hand, she could have a great time with you on three, four, or five dates, but if she never committed physically, she hasn’t invested nearly as much and won’t feel any commitment.
Ask For a Little, Get a Lot
As I said earlier, you don’t want to artificially create situations that require investment. Besides being weird, it’s likely any artificial situation will go overboard. Just like how "compounding interest" works at a bank, the great thing about making an initial investment is that the dividends quickly multiply without you doing anything. Getting a little investment from her will result in more investment, which in turn will lead her to feel attached to you and result in yet even more investment. All you have to do is organically suggest the things you want to do, and let her commit the initial time and effort. An artificial situation will just make it more likely conclude that the initial investment in you isn’t worth her time, effort, and risk.